fe_male | memeboxing

[ It's not really that he has anything against self defense. He's actually pretty good at it, if not quite martially. He's sneaky, and ingenious, and all manner of crafty. And he likes the boxing he and Happy do sometimes, even if he mixes in a little something something every now and then. Mostly his method of attack is attacking. Blasting people off the battlefield - it seems to work pretty well, all things considered.

When she gets his attention, she doesn't seem to be wearing anything out of the ordinary, she looks normal, vibes normal, and he feels oddly good right now, so okay, sure, she wants to do something, he's not doing anything. ]

What's up?

[ Those are all awesome things, definitely. She'd still feel better if she knew for certain that he knew how to break someone's elbow if they grabbed him, or where to kick a knee so that it caves, or the point in someone's hand you can stick your knuckle into to bring them to their knees with pain, or any number of other things that have not only served her well but on occasion flat out saved her life over time.

She jerks her head towards a space with carpet and plenty of open space, grins a little. ] I want to teach you some stuff. Self defense, all that jazz.

[ Holding out her hand. Come on, just go with it Tony. ] It's overdue.

[ And suddenly, he looks like he already knows he's walked into a trap. Eyeing her hand, looking back up at her. That sounds dangerous. It sounds... like work. Or like she thinks he actually needs it. ]

Why?

[ Just wiggling her fingers in an attempt to convince him to take it, come on, holding hands with her has never led to bad things, right? This is gonna be great, it totally will be. Her smile is bright and hopeful and maybe there's just a little bit of coaxing in it. ]

Because it's fun. Because I could use a sparring partner. Because your knowledge of self defense is sadly lacking. Lots of reasons.

[ He watches those fingers wiggle, doesn't look up at her face from them when she starts talking, until she finishes. Then there's a moment or two, neutral assessment, and he takes her hand. ] Lots of reasons.

[ And it's weird, she thinks, that after all the stuff they've talked about and done and all the ways they've touched each other, it's him taking her offered hand that makes her smile wide and unreserved without her giving her face permission to make that expression. Tugging him with her a little bit. ] Do you need more?

[ Allowing her to tug him into perambulation, because he's just a nice guy like that. ] I don't know if my ego could take more reasons.

I'm taking that as a yes, you're going to let me teach you self defense. [ Sliding behind him, right hand on his hip and left still holding his for the moment, looking rather pleased with herself. ] Just so you know.

So what all has Happy taught you?

[ It's a yes, but he's looking down at her because the hand on his hip, the arm across his back, holding his hand with her other, this feels like coercion. He doesn't have a problem with coercion, he likes using it on other people, likes being coerced by the right people. She's probably the right people, anyway. ]

Boxing. The delicate balance between 'dirty boxing' and 'mixed martial arts'. Getting kneed in the crotch hurts regardless of whether it was an 'accident' or not. What are you gonna teach me?

[ It's coercion of the kindest and most well intentioned kind, she promises. Besides, right now she's just using it as an excuse to lean against him for a moment. He's warm and solid, and then she steps back and smiles. ]

If you're going to fight, always go for dirty. [ Cracking her knuckles, and okay maybe she looks pretty genuinely pleased about all of this, but there's a lot of good memories associated with being taught the things she's going to teach him, and her years as a vigilante were pretty much the best of her life. It's not even the memory of that so much that's bringing the smile to her face and eyes, but at least somewhat the idea that she gets to share some of that with him. Obliquely and without actually telling him that that's what she's doing, but still. In her head it counts. ] I'm going to teach you how to break things. I figure we'll start with a few basic 'what to do if someone grabs you' moves, and then go on into the next steps of taking them down.

Kinky. [ But okay. Interesting strategy. Not one that he's ever particularly had a problem with - the whole 'fight fair' thing, yeah he understands it, and sure if you can win without cheating then go for it, but if not cheating means you're going to lose, then you're an idiot for not using anything within your disposal. ] I'm actually really good at breaking things, in case you hadn't noticed.

Well, you know me. Always trying to spice it up. [ A slight grin, and then she shrugs and steps a little closer. ] Yeah, but I want to teach you to break bones.

[ Beat. It's a lot better than it sounds, okay. ] I figure some of the very basic ones you can skip - please tell me you know what to do if someone grabs your wrist. [ Fingers settling loosely around one of his wrists, just to test. ]

[ Yeah he squints at that a little bit, because. Okay. That sounds like a real bonding exercise. But okay, sure. Breaking bones. That still sounds like fun.

And at that, he looks down, but yes, he does know that one, and provided she doesn't do anything particularly surprising, he gets out of it without much difficulty. ] What else you got?

[ Yeah, see? It's just a matter of perspective. Breaking bones can totally be fun, when it's you learning how to break other people's bones.

Okay, good, he knows his basics at least it is time to move on. She grins and gestures at her throat, casually. ] Chokehold, please?

[ They're putting the 'fun' back in 'psychopat--' oh wait. ]

Uh. [ Okay, that doesn't feel weird at all. ] Okay.

[ Hahaha... ha. Uh. Whoops.

If she thinks it feels weird at all she's not acknowledging it. It's totally fine and normal, what. ] There's the basic ways to get out of it, but they don't give you much time. If you want to really stop them, grab the middle finger of either hand and snap it. [ Pulling his finger free very, very lightly. ] Then grab the other hand, bend the arm until it's in a locked position and break the elbow. [ Still terribly careful about her demonstration. ]

You're a little scary when you want to be, you know that? [ Lightly though, because he's not worried about her accidentally breaking his fingers or elbows - he trusts her not to do it, and that's as far as it goes. ] So, choking, give them the finger, bend lock break. Right? What's a locked position?

I'd hope so, I've worked hard at it. [ Deadpan, but there's an amused look in her eyes. ] Lock is like this. [ Twisting his arm to demonstrate. ] You turn it in and away from you so if you keep the arm pulled straight with your hand on the wrist the elbow can't bend.

Ahh, okay, got it, you're right it totally can't. At all. Can I have my arm back?

[ Letting go and patting his shoulder. ] You have to twist it further than that to cause them pain by the twist alone, though. Otherwise, just go for the fist to the elbow. Even if you don't quite break it it hurts like hell. [ Dusting her hands off now. ] Want to give it a go?

Uhh, I don't want to break your elbow, no. Or accidentally twist your arm around.

Oh, come on, I just did it to you without hurting you. And do you really think I'd let you get far enough to hurt me?

[ Both of those things I told you already. He is thinking those, quietly, to himself. ] Encouraging. Okay, we can do it in slow motion. Gimme your wrist.

[ rude she is totally encouraging, okay. She contemplates for a moment insisting on running it from the beginning, but then she considers putting her hands around his neck and thinks just going with the one part of it is totally fine, reaching one hand out towards him. ]

[ lol yeah let's not do hands around his neck rn he might not be okay with that

But he does take her wrist, turning it like he remembers her turning his, and then actually going one step further using his other hand to run along her arm, feeling out why this works and what she was talking about in regards to the elbow and such. He doesn't add any more pressure or anything, but learning the physicality of what's at work here, that'll help him just as much as learning the movements in the first place. ]

oh baby slide right in

i choked on my water when that landed in my inbox

/cackles

well played sir

/bow

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