fe_male | memeboxing

[ He's fine with impermanence, actually. (Sometimes the broader concept is comforting, in a weird way.) Things don't last, mostly because they're made to be replaced by something better. One situation becomes another, greater in scope or definition, and that's how time smooths things over. Like no talking - it did work, for a while, and then it didn't, and maybe it will now again, for a while, but there's not really any doubt that it won't be working in the near future.

But really, it doesn't take that long in this instance. So much build-up built up means the momentum isn't that hard to regain, and he lets it get about as far as he thinks he can manage, as close to the edge as he can, before he speaks up suddenly. ] Stop, that's - very close.

[ She stops immediately, pulling her hand away and returning to kneel above him, knees on either side of his chest as she watches him again, something approaching an approving smile on her face. ] Good. [ Instructions well followed, she's very pleased. Pleased enough to kiss him a little, sliding a hand up his arm to lace her fingers through his. It's not much of a kiss, careful to keep stimulation down to a minimum, just thorough and calm.

And then she's up and off the bed, giving him a moment to calm down and herself an opportunity to head over to the box she'd brought out of the closet. She's been internally debating adding anything else to the mix, and right now she's leaning on the side of it because she knows it's going to take a little more to really get him today she wants him thoroughly and completely hers, no doubt in it, no questions. This is a good start, but it's not all that she can have. Not yet. ]

How do you feel now? [ Still facing away from him, considering something in her hands. Keeping a careful eye on how he is is an important part of all this, both for purposes of not sending him over the edge she wants and to make sure he's all right. She can do part of that through her mind, but asking him makes him answer to her. ]

[ How does he feel now. It feels like a trick question, and he nearly starts to say so before he catches himself. That's probably not what she's looking for, and while he's not typically all about giving other people what they want - not in this context; in anything but this context, basically the exact opposite - in this case it would also be detrimental to himself, so he pauses, comes up with a better answer, he thinks. ]

Frustrated. Controlled. [ Not 'in control', but that he is the one being controlled, and it's nice. ] Anticipatory.

[ Okay maybe it was a trick question, but all he's predominately aware of right now is that she's not near him anymore and he misses the warmth, that she is in fact somewhere over there that he can't see properly, doing things that he can't discern, and he's continuing to get a vague thrill of worry about things like that. She seems to be regarding something in thought, and he's not sure how what he just said will influence her thoughts one way or the other.

But he still doesn't know what for, and he doesn't know the point in asking him, or if it was a trick, so he adds: ] Why?

[ She hums a little bit in response to his answer, turns around to come back and settle inbetween his legs, kneeling with her knees together and her hand closed around something, surprisingly demure. It's a good mix of words, she thinks. For her purposes at least, it's a good mix of words.

And ah yes, the why. She meets his gaze, holds up the hand she'd been keeping closed to reveal the testicle cuffs in it, watching him carefully. There's no question in her eyes, but her stillness makes it clear that she's giving him time and space to bow out of this particular part if he wants to. ]

Just making sure everything's going right. [ Voice light and calm as she waits. ]

[ Yeah that is surprisingly subdued considering everything about this situation right now, which is a little... Well, it lends to the same conflicting feeling of both worry and eagerness. She's very good at fueling that particular feeling. He hasn't forgotten that she came out with more than just restraints though, and after he notices she's holding something, his eyes flick back and forth between her face and her hand until she holds it up to show what she brought back over. And oh. After that, it takes a few long moments before he looks back at her face again. ]

All right. No lefts. [ A little shifting, because that feels like a new level being added here and some kind of energy needs to be expelled. ]

[ She does her best to facilitate that feeling, really, particularly now, and the way his eyes stay glued to her hand for those long moments feels to her like some kind of reward for doing it well. But it's all alright then, and she holds up the key on a string, ties it firmly to the base of the bed where they can both see it and know it's well within easy reach.]

Just as a note, I've researched everything in your closet. [ Both as reassurance for the fact that she can actually use this safely as she shifts to an easier position to start putting it on, and as a casual aside, something for him to think about. ]

[ He watches her place the key in view, which is nice and comforting and also potentially going to be immeasurably frustrating later on. His eyes are glued to her regardless, through all of this, moving back over to him, settling back in place, and - what ]

You've what? When did you do that? [ Because he hadn't noticed that she'd been in there at all, she hadn't ever acted like she'd seen anything inside it. Not these kinds of things, anyway.

And he was watching, and he was curious, and even potentially going to keep talking, but then he can feel her getting ready, starting to put it on, and he stills almost entirely. He's looking up at the ceiling, but that's just because he wants to stare at something blank and pay more attention to the feeling. How long has she known about all this? Was she planing it or was it just a happy coincidence their moods worked out like this and she's just improvising. Which ones excite her? Or are these the ones that excite her - they're both typically quite assertive but not in this arena. This one has always been hers. ]

[ A secret sort of smile at the edges of her mouth as she glances at him, because she didn't miss either his eyes fixed on her or the subtleties of his reaction to what she'd said, and she likes them both a great deal. One hand strokes his thigh for a moment, still watching him. ]

I like to be informed. [ She likes to be informed about what he wants, and what he needs, and she'd noticed that restraints were hardly the only thing in that closet and gone searching one day, and then she'd done research, and it was absolutely worth it both for the look on his face right now and the fact that she has that further level to bring it up to, for both of them. ] I didn't see a need to tell you yet.

[ She's careful about everything, gentle and making sure that it's as safe as can be, and then she sits back, entirely not touching him again, waiting a moment to determine if this is going well. ]

[ She likes to be informed. Well he already knew that, but he didn't realize it would ever come out quite so far in his favor. He remains still while she's assembling and adjusting, but looks at her when she deems it finished and sits back. He's not sure for a moment what's happening right then, but it looks like she's allowing him more chances to indicate how he feels about things. He takes the moment, looks up again, shifts a little bit, moving his hips in the minor amount that he's able, feeling the weight and restriction, breathing a little faster now, as though to make up for how still he was just a few moments ago. It's a difficult thing to describe, whether feeling or desire, and he's glad she seemed to be able to parse it all out on her own, much less that she apparently wanted to try it herself.

But he's got to say something, even still. ] I don't like it when you don't tell me things. [ Which is, for the most part, a true statement, but is obviously and blatantly in this context a lie. He's just saying it to have something mildly belligerent to say, even if the slightly breathless, approved tone he says it in totally contradicts the words further. ]

[ That smile widens just a little bit at those words, because the contradiction inherent both in how he says it and just the general setting is really fascinating. She's quite pleased with it, even, with the faint shift of his hips, the change in his breathing.

There's a soft hum of approval and then she quietly opens up a pathway between their minds, hands folded carefully in her lap as she gives him what she received of his sensation last time she blew him, filtered through her own obvious enjoyment of his pleasure. The whole deal, and it takes a little effort to maintain that while carefully monitoring how far he is right now and talk, but her voice when she does say something is light and easy. ]

And? [ Raising her eyebrows at him, still smiling a little. Look Ma, no hands. ] You get to know what I say you need to know.

[ Well that's not like, the most surreal feeling in the world or anything. He's not sure what to do with that - he wasn't expecting it at all, and the look on his face, the noise he started making and pulled back, both speak to that. ]

That's not - fair, sorry, did you say something. [ Still shifting, because oh my god it's not even actually happening and that's sort of worse, actually, oddly. The disconnect between sensation and sensation, okay, it's really not fair. Already close, even if that's more difficult now, already sensitive, just. Super not fair. ] I need - I need to know everything. [ That look on her face, it's so great, but so motivating, because she just looks so pleased with herself, and that's just not a thing that can happen right now, okay, it's not. ]

[ God, that's good. The look on his face, the shifting, everything about his body language and what he's saying right now she's just sort of drinking in, no room left for other things in the face of him here before her, reacting like this to her. It's the entire pathway to the end result that she loves, every second of the build, and this is a perfect part of it. ]

Do you need me to remind you how important it is to listen to me, Tony? [ She cuts the feeling off slowly, leaving a last trickle of sensation before it fades entirely because she doesn't want to push him over any edges yet. No, she's got a fair ways to go before she actually lets him get what he wants. He hasn't earned it yet. ] You think so? [ Moving up to lean over him on her hands and knees, not touching for the moment, just watching, letting herself lean in low and close but still not close enough. ] What is it you think you need to know so badly?

[ He can feel the sensation start to dull down and realizes belatedly that she did actually just say something that time. Blinking a little, he retroactively hears it and tries to piece it back together a bit, but it's vague. ]

What? [ Comes out before he can think not to say it. Vagueness called for clarity, but she's moving on, saying something else now, getting so close now that he can feel heat radiating off her again, but not close enough for him to try and strain up to touch. This time he doesn't even try, just licks his lips from where they got dry - breathing through your mouth will do that - watches her movements, tries to hold down the pieces of his composure that are starting to threaten with cracks. ] Ev- [ Nope, mouth's dry, throat's tight, try it again. ] Everything.

[ Mmm, yes, she is going to have to remind him that listening to what she says is very important. But not right now, because she has something else to say to him right now, something else to answer. She watches him lick his lips, smiles, and then ducks her head to kiss her way up to his ear, murmur against the skin just below it. ]

So you want to know what I thought? If I looked at your collection and got excited? [ Voice dropping, low and heavy and tight, a promise in it. ] You want to know if sometime while I was looking up how they all worked the thought of you spread out beneath me like this was so good I had to stop and fuck myself, had to get off on imagining how your voice would sound when you begged me for release? [ A long, silent pause from her, and then she pulls back again from his neck, nothing on her face of what she's just said. ] You want to know if any of that's true?

[ He's not actively not paying attention, it's just such a passive action that it's lost in the processing of all the other input currently being received.

But right now - right now he's paying attention to everything she says. Every word, every syllable, and at some point during her speech he stops shifting again, goes very still and quiet. When she pulls back away from him, he's looking somewhere over her shoulder, unfocused and unblinking, and almost every muscle all along the lines of his body is tensed. If she were to touch him, she'd be able to feel the slight shake of the effort involved.

She asked him a question, he did register it this time, but he has no idea how to actually answer it. He doesn't know how he wants to answer it, and it's a weird feeling, not knowing what he wants. He always knows what he wants. He's impulsive, and takes what he wants without considering the consequences, but right now, they're almost the only thing he can think about. So it takes a few moments, and he blinks, glances off to the side a little more, then back to somewhere by her shoulder. ] No.

[ That is also a good look on him, the sort that she could be perfectly all right with seeing again. She does brush her hand along his side for a moment, lets it linger just long enough for her to relish in the tremble of his body. It's a tangible expression of just how hard he's having to work to hold himself in check and how much further she has to push and she loves it, wants to see how long he can maintain it.

She moves a little bit into his view, makes sure that her face is well within his range of sight as she listens to his answer. ] No? [ Brushing her lips against his for a moment, feather light, entirely unsatisfying. He's too sensitive right now to risk much until a little time has passed. ] Then what is it you think you need to know, Tony?

[ He just can't stop the tremors. He's trying to make them stop, but at the same time he's unwilling to relax, to untense those tense muscles, but it's not happening. Like, at all, and that's irritating, but okay.

She comes into proper view and from then on his eyes track her movements. He's paying attention to her again, despite the relative danger involved therein. The kiss is entirely not enough, and he blinks his eyes open afterward, a little dazed in general, but looking at her. Another question to handle. ]

I don't know.

[ Well, sort of handle, anyway. That's a viable answer, but it doesn't make it a good one. ]

[ Her hand is still lingering at moments, brushing up against his skin again to feel that. She's waiting, for the moment, staying calm and in control and above him, but maybe later she'll press herself against him, feel that in every inch of him.

His eyes careful attention to what she's doing is more than a little bit flattering, more than a little gratifying. This is what she wants, and she meets his eyes with a smile and a challenge in hers. ]

We'll just have to go with what I want, then. [ Lips against his again for a moment, and then down against his throat and his collarbone for a moment. ] Which is what we were going to do anyways, so it's not even really a change of plans.

[ Well, you need to watch the thing you're trying to mitigate the surprise from. You can't not be surprised if you weren't paying attention, but you totally can if you were. Surprise can still happen, but statistically, the chances are better.

But he takes in what's only a slightly shaky breath, for which he's kind of proud, momentarily. ] What do you want? [ Resisting the urge to swallow against the tightness in his throat, the way he sort of wants to shift his weight again, muscles almost sporadically tensing further and then calming down in places against the urge. ]

[ She can make that breath so much shakier, she's certain of it. She watches him for a long moment after that question, because the look on his face right is definitely part of what she wants, and then she leans in closer, presses her body against his for a little bit. The layers of her clothes are in the way but she can still feel that tensing of muscles, everything about how his body is reacting to her.

This, right here, is what she wants. Control and the ability to make him slowly unravel beneath her touch. What she wants most of all, though, is the moment she succeeds in pushing past the outer limits of his control. ] You'll know when I have it. [ Grinding her hips against his just for a moment to relish the feeling through the fabric before pulling back away, hands trailing down his sides as she presses her lips to his collarbone. ]

[ She probably can, he wouldn't doubt it. And she does, right there, pressing herself against him even before she actually does anything, and he was right, he is sensitive, he didn't realize how right he was because she hadn't been doing as much touching. It's nothing overly so, and most of it is likely easily chalked up to the natural reaction nerves have without regards to anything his nerves do, but either way it's him here right now and that's what it feels like. He's already tense before the contact, and it only increases - the small amount it was able to - afterward. The texture of her clothes, the feel of her body behind them; he's inordinately aware of every point of contact and the fact that he's visibly dealing with it is sign enough of the effect.

Grinding. He grunts, eyes squeeze shut, two heavy breaths and back to normal because this is constraint we're going for here, this is 'keep calm and carry on' type shit, okay. And he is, and he can, and he totally is, what's the problem. He opens his eyes slowly, around when she's kissing his collarbone, wanting to say something, but what, and... Does he really? Ugh. ] Can you get it soon? [ Genuine question, a little hopeful, a little dazed; so many things at once, and she's pulled back but now she's trailing lightly and he still can't. Soon? Soon might be good. ]

[ She can feel every bit of that, can see the control he's exerting when she glances at him and it's still there, it's at once beautiful and something she wants to tear to pieces. She doesn't want him to have any control left, anything to make him deny her what she wants.

She laughs at that question, because soon is the precise opposite of the point here, and her lips drift lower, seeking out the areas she knows he's sensitive him, one hand sliding across his hip and inwards, slow and steady. ] Maybe if you ask just right. [ It's less what she wants, even, and more what she needs here. She needs what she can get out of this, and maybe that makes it counter intuitive to drag it out but she still wants to. ]

[ No but soon is a good thing. Soon is delayed right now anyway, and he has a really hard time not reacting to her continued movement, so whatever she does to sort of speed that up would sort of be okay and sort of not be okay, for vastly different and similar reasons. It's mean to just laugh at people though, just saying. ]

How's that? [ For the asking. If he was breathing better he'd probably have put more breath into it, but he's not really right now, so. It's sort of fast and hopefully something she understands more than anything. ]

[ Her hands drift to his thighs, linger over slipping across the insides, and then her grip slowly tightens, holding on as she lets him feel her mouth around him for a moment before she pulls back. ]

What would you do, for it to be soon? [ Soft and quiet, a counterpoint to how she can hear his breathing. Her own is still under control, for now, but it's taking more effort to keep it that way. ]

[ That is a noise born of disappointment when that moment is over, barely bothering to try and muffle it anymore when it takes so much effort to control all the other reactions he has going on right now. It's getting to the point where she barely even has to do anything.

But he does consider her question, even as the tremble in his body becomes a little more pronounced. He doesn't consider it for very long, but he considers it. ] What do you want? [ Which is not quite capitulation, it's gauging, but it's more willing than he was earlier. It's a stall tactic more than anything, because he can tell his own control is slipping and once that starts, after a point it all just leaves at once. ]

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