fe_male | memeboxing

[ God, that's good. The look on his face, the shifting, everything about his body language and what he's saying right now she's just sort of drinking in, no room left for other things in the face of him here before her, reacting like this to her. It's the entire pathway to the end result that she loves, every second of the build, and this is a perfect part of it. ]

Do you need me to remind you how important it is to listen to me, Tony? [ She cuts the feeling off slowly, leaving a last trickle of sensation before it fades entirely because she doesn't want to push him over any edges yet. No, she's got a fair ways to go before she actually lets him get what he wants. He hasn't earned it yet. ] You think so? [ Moving up to lean over him on her hands and knees, not touching for the moment, just watching, letting herself lean in low and close but still not close enough. ] What is it you think you need to know so badly?

[ He can feel the sensation start to dull down and realizes belatedly that she did actually just say something that time. Blinking a little, he retroactively hears it and tries to piece it back together a bit, but it's vague. ]

What? [ Comes out before he can think not to say it. Vagueness called for clarity, but she's moving on, saying something else now, getting so close now that he can feel heat radiating off her again, but not close enough for him to try and strain up to touch. This time he doesn't even try, just licks his lips from where they got dry - breathing through your mouth will do that - watches her movements, tries to hold down the pieces of his composure that are starting to threaten with cracks. ] Ev- [ Nope, mouth's dry, throat's tight, try it again. ] Everything.

[ Mmm, yes, she is going to have to remind him that listening to what she says is very important. But not right now, because she has something else to say to him right now, something else to answer. She watches him lick his lips, smiles, and then ducks her head to kiss her way up to his ear, murmur against the skin just below it. ]

So you want to know what I thought? If I looked at your collection and got excited? [ Voice dropping, low and heavy and tight, a promise in it. ] You want to know if sometime while I was looking up how they all worked the thought of you spread out beneath me like this was so good I had to stop and fuck myself, had to get off on imagining how your voice would sound when you begged me for release? [ A long, silent pause from her, and then she pulls back again from his neck, nothing on her face of what she's just said. ] You want to know if any of that's true?

[ He's not actively not paying attention, it's just such a passive action that it's lost in the processing of all the other input currently being received.

But right now - right now he's paying attention to everything she says. Every word, every syllable, and at some point during her speech he stops shifting again, goes very still and quiet. When she pulls back away from him, he's looking somewhere over her shoulder, unfocused and unblinking, and almost every muscle all along the lines of his body is tensed. If she were to touch him, she'd be able to feel the slight shake of the effort involved.

She asked him a question, he did register it this time, but he has no idea how to actually answer it. He doesn't know how he wants to answer it, and it's a weird feeling, not knowing what he wants. He always knows what he wants. He's impulsive, and takes what he wants without considering the consequences, but right now, they're almost the only thing he can think about. So it takes a few moments, and he blinks, glances off to the side a little more, then back to somewhere by her shoulder. ] No.

[ That is also a good look on him, the sort that she could be perfectly all right with seeing again. She does brush her hand along his side for a moment, lets it linger just long enough for her to relish in the tremble of his body. It's a tangible expression of just how hard he's having to work to hold himself in check and how much further she has to push and she loves it, wants to see how long he can maintain it.

She moves a little bit into his view, makes sure that her face is well within his range of sight as she listens to his answer. ] No? [ Brushing her lips against his for a moment, feather light, entirely unsatisfying. He's too sensitive right now to risk much until a little time has passed. ] Then what is it you think you need to know, Tony?

[ He just can't stop the tremors. He's trying to make them stop, but at the same time he's unwilling to relax, to untense those tense muscles, but it's not happening. Like, at all, and that's irritating, but okay.

She comes into proper view and from then on his eyes track her movements. He's paying attention to her again, despite the relative danger involved therein. The kiss is entirely not enough, and he blinks his eyes open afterward, a little dazed in general, but looking at her. Another question to handle. ]

I don't know.

[ Well, sort of handle, anyway. That's a viable answer, but it doesn't make it a good one. ]

[ Her hand is still lingering at moments, brushing up against his skin again to feel that. She's waiting, for the moment, staying calm and in control and above him, but maybe later she'll press herself against him, feel that in every inch of him.

His eyes careful attention to what she's doing is more than a little bit flattering, more than a little gratifying. This is what she wants, and she meets his eyes with a smile and a challenge in hers. ]

We'll just have to go with what I want, then. [ Lips against his again for a moment, and then down against his throat and his collarbone for a moment. ] Which is what we were going to do anyways, so it's not even really a change of plans.

[ Well, you need to watch the thing you're trying to mitigate the surprise from. You can't not be surprised if you weren't paying attention, but you totally can if you were. Surprise can still happen, but statistically, the chances are better.

But he takes in what's only a slightly shaky breath, for which he's kind of proud, momentarily. ] What do you want? [ Resisting the urge to swallow against the tightness in his throat, the way he sort of wants to shift his weight again, muscles almost sporadically tensing further and then calming down in places against the urge. ]

[ She can make that breath so much shakier, she's certain of it. She watches him for a long moment after that question, because the look on his face right is definitely part of what she wants, and then she leans in closer, presses her body against his for a little bit. The layers of her clothes are in the way but she can still feel that tensing of muscles, everything about how his body is reacting to her.

This, right here, is what she wants. Control and the ability to make him slowly unravel beneath her touch. What she wants most of all, though, is the moment she succeeds in pushing past the outer limits of his control. ] You'll know when I have it. [ Grinding her hips against his just for a moment to relish the feeling through the fabric before pulling back away, hands trailing down his sides as she presses her lips to his collarbone. ]

[ She probably can, he wouldn't doubt it. And she does, right there, pressing herself against him even before she actually does anything, and he was right, he is sensitive, he didn't realize how right he was because she hadn't been doing as much touching. It's nothing overly so, and most of it is likely easily chalked up to the natural reaction nerves have without regards to anything his nerves do, but either way it's him here right now and that's what it feels like. He's already tense before the contact, and it only increases - the small amount it was able to - afterward. The texture of her clothes, the feel of her body behind them; he's inordinately aware of every point of contact and the fact that he's visibly dealing with it is sign enough of the effect.

Grinding. He grunts, eyes squeeze shut, two heavy breaths and back to normal because this is constraint we're going for here, this is 'keep calm and carry on' type shit, okay. And he is, and he can, and he totally is, what's the problem. He opens his eyes slowly, around when she's kissing his collarbone, wanting to say something, but what, and... Does he really? Ugh. ] Can you get it soon? [ Genuine question, a little hopeful, a little dazed; so many things at once, and she's pulled back but now she's trailing lightly and he still can't. Soon? Soon might be good. ]

[ She can feel every bit of that, can see the control he's exerting when she glances at him and it's still there, it's at once beautiful and something she wants to tear to pieces. She doesn't want him to have any control left, anything to make him deny her what she wants.

She laughs at that question, because soon is the precise opposite of the point here, and her lips drift lower, seeking out the areas she knows he's sensitive him, one hand sliding across his hip and inwards, slow and steady. ] Maybe if you ask just right. [ It's less what she wants, even, and more what she needs here. She needs what she can get out of this, and maybe that makes it counter intuitive to drag it out but she still wants to. ]

[ No but soon is a good thing. Soon is delayed right now anyway, and he has a really hard time not reacting to her continued movement, so whatever she does to sort of speed that up would sort of be okay and sort of not be okay, for vastly different and similar reasons. It's mean to just laugh at people though, just saying. ]

How's that? [ For the asking. If he was breathing better he'd probably have put more breath into it, but he's not really right now, so. It's sort of fast and hopefully something she understands more than anything. ]

[ Her hands drift to his thighs, linger over slipping across the insides, and then her grip slowly tightens, holding on as she lets him feel her mouth around him for a moment before she pulls back. ]

What would you do, for it to be soon? [ Soft and quiet, a counterpoint to how she can hear his breathing. Her own is still under control, for now, but it's taking more effort to keep it that way. ]

[ That is a noise born of disappointment when that moment is over, barely bothering to try and muffle it anymore when it takes so much effort to control all the other reactions he has going on right now. It's getting to the point where she barely even has to do anything.

But he does consider her question, even as the tremble in his body becomes a little more pronounced. He doesn't consider it for very long, but he considers it. ] What do you want? [ Which is not quite capitulation, it's gauging, but it's more willing than he was earlier. It's a stall tactic more than anything, because he can tell his own control is slipping and once that starts, after a point it all just leaves at once. ]

[ There's a long pause, her hands keeping up a steady circling of his thighs, sliding up and down - closer and then drifting away, closer still and drifting away again. She knows to a certain extent what it is that she wants, but putting it into words is a different matter.

After a long moment she moves back upwards, situated so she can press down against his hips, provide a steady constant pressure though not moving aside from that. She brushes her lips against his, against his pulse, just behind his ear so he can feel her talking as well as hear it. ] Beg me. Show me just how much you want this.

[ Her movements coax little sounds out of his without his consent. Just tiny ones, from the back of his throat, from the teasing.

But then she moves, and she's not teasing, not completely, even if he does groan at the constant pressure. He is still, still, as she moves, all of his effort coming into control, as the tremor in his torso, legs, and arms, will attest. And she's so close to him, and talking, and ---

He knew it was coming but that doesn't help fight the instinctive 'fu no' that swells up inside him at the thought. Some aspect of that must have manifested physically - he suddenly froze entirely, not breathing, then two moments later, resumed his previous state, almost faster. More desperate. ]

I don't feel like it just yet.

[ She doesn't even realize she's straining to hear those noises until they pause when she moves again, and she files them away as something she would love to hear again sometime.

And that she was more or less expecting as the answer, knew that she hadn't pushed quite far enough yet. But now it's out there, in the air between, in the space she immediately gives him as she lifts herself away, reaches just one hand down to run two fingers around the edges of the metal confining him and then up and down, before she brings her hand back up and carefully and deliberately sucks her fingers clean, still watching him steadily. ]

I know you don't. [ Lightly, eyes never leaving his as she reaches down to trace his mouth with her fingers. But he will, if she has any say in it. And she has most of the say in it, right now, so there's a sureness to her gaze. ] Just let me know when you do.

[ She moves away what feels like immediately after he's spoken, like he's disappointed her somehow, and he shifts again, feeling the shame of disappointment, red on his neck mixing with the flush on his chest that appeared when he started to feel particularly close to finishing, even if he hasn't done so yet, still.

He heat is missed immediately, soft goosebumps breaking out where she's now missing from him, and he watches the show she puts on just afterward - because that has to be a show - and can't help the twitch it sends to his cock regardless, watching her suck her fingers clean. He's even less held together now than he was ten seconds ago, visibly so, breathing mostly through his mouth, eyes almost wide and pupils dark enough to blot out the iris all but entirely. His body is all but vibrating with the effort to remain still, or maybe it would be doing that anyway, who knows. But denying her what she wants and seeing that she is still yet willing to wait for it was more detrimental to his own control than would have been expected. ]

O-Okay. [ Breathe, Tony. Breathe. ] What are y-you doing now?

[ It's definitely a show, put on specifically to watch his reactions, and he doesn't disappoint in the least. Her hand drifts to his neck, curls so that she can brush it with the back of her knuckles. She's not entirely sure why he's turning red, but suspects it's a matter of a result of trying to maintain control.

God, the effort she can feel him putting into trying to stay still is spiking her arousal, but she blinks, lets it show only in the expression in her eyes as she keeps herself still above him. ] Waiting.

[ Silence for a little bit. ] Remembering how it feels when you're inside me. How you feel. How many places on your body are sensitive. [ Her fingers drift again, tapping a rhythm onto his skin, touching spots that she knows are sensitive. One of the sequences he'd showed her when she'd complained that the Fibonacci got boring. ]

[ Fuck how does she make not-touching worse than touching, every time. That doesn't even seem fair. He closes his eyes, squeezed shut for a few seconds and then just shut normally, because the look on her face isn't helping at all, and watching her remain so calm is on roughly the same level entirely.

Which does mean the tapping takes him a little more off guard, but it's not a very large difference either way by this point. She knows the right places to touch, and all of them are on high alert right now and thus more sensitive than she'd probably expect, and it doesn't take that long before he's shifting more than he's staying still in reaction. ] Wait, stop.

[ He really is on high alert, and she pauses as soon as he says that, hand flattening against his stomach as she watches him. ] Open your eyes. [ She wants to see them, right now. The look in them was wonderful earlier, and she suspects it's still there. And she'd like him to look at her while he says whatever it is he needs her to stop for, see the calm consideration in her face and the banked desire in her eyes. ] Why do I need to stop?

[ Well, he wasn't actually expecting her to stop, for one thing. Not without the safeword, or any one of the three of them, technically. Not that it's a bad thing - he probably wouldn't have expected her to actually stop even with them, at this point. It's hard to think right now. Maybe he wasn't. Feel proud.

But it means he opens his eyes almost immediately when she tells him to, both out of obedience and mild surprise, blinking a few times and then settling on her. It is the same look, albeit somewhat more dazed than before, and again, the look on her face doesn't help much. ] I just... Too much. Almost hurts. [ Although, what if she stops entirely? ] Not bad though, I didn't think - it's fine, sorry, nothing's wrong. Please, don't stop.

[ She doesn't want to accidentally overwhelm him and push it just too far, because she's put a lot of effort into this and that would be kind of frustrating and ruin it all. And she's really not sure if that's a good thing, that he wouldn't expect her to stop even with a safeword, because she would. She'd hate it, right now, and she'd be frustrated, but she'd stop.

And while her hand lingers, she doesn't start it moving again just yet. ] Maybe you need to just lie still for a little bit. [ Not teasing, just gauging how he feels by what his reaction to that suggestion is. ] If you can't handle it.

Edited 2013-02-19 05:20 (UTC)

[ Well, on a base level he does trust her - it's why when he starts to feel like he's flipping out a little he doesn't actually flip out and break everything, but quietly and breathlessly just said 'stop' instead. It's a good thing, he's just not thinking a whole lot right now about it.

The suggestion though, he's thinking about a lot. He doesn't like it. He probably does need to, but you've hit a competitive-slash-doubting nerve with that phrasing. ] What. No, I don't want to. I can handle it, please, come on. Go back, keep going.

[ She thought that might strike something of a nerve, in a metaphorical sense instead of the literal sense she's also been working on, and she doesn't let the satisfaction show on her face but it's a quiet hum in the back of her head, success. Slowly her hand slides down a little further, spreads out flat against his stomach as she raises her eyebrows at him. ]

I don't think you can. [ Leaning in to kiss him again, briefly, whispering against his lips. ] I think you'd disobey my instructions if I kept going, and I can't have that.

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maaaaaaaaan some of my tags seem weird at night. /squint

/chinhands

you say that now

i will always say that probably

yeah probably

i like the things you say okay