fe_male | memeboxing

[ Yeah she might actually explode from any kind of emotional understanding effort right now. She's not even trying to understand what she feels beyond knowing that she is too happy at him being there, it's dangerous, but she can't stop it either.

And god that feels good, feels safe and right to have him that tight around her even if her body aches with almost any move. She doesn't really care about that anymore with his arms around her, his body sheltering her. Some part of her is already starting to realize that he hasn't had her for a while, that that can't have been good for him and he's so unlikely to have accepted help from anyone, but for the moment all she can really do is curl tightly into him.

There's no protest at all to being picked up except for a momentary grimace of pain which is perhaps a sign in and of itself given how little she generally enjoys anything of the being carried nature. She leans into him as much as she can, breathing in the smell of him as opposed to the smell of this place, nods slowly when he says that. ] I'm sorry. [ Almost too quiet to even catch, her voice still hoarse. ] Don't let anyone drug me again.

[ Shhh, Max, don't think about things like that. He was fine. Technically for a while, he did have her, soooo...

But don't actually think about that either, okay. Like, at all. Okay? Everything's fine here. He's just going to hold her tight and no one's going to stop him walking out right now because the big part of the mission is done and the look on his face is just going to tell them the answer they'll get right now before they open their mouths.

Also it's okay, because his senses are all turned up to eleven right now, so he totally heard that. Double okay, because it doesn't make him angrier or anything. Not at all. ] They won't. Nobody's going to do anything you don't want them to.

[ Yeah, she can't not think about it, she loves him and he's important and whether or not he's okay is important and it's easier to worry about him than it is to actually think about anything that's been happening. But it's still a relatively side consideration because a lot of her brain is taken up with everything else.

And she doesn't know about the other thing yet, too. Finding out about that is going to be interesting. But for the moment, yeah, she's wrapped up in how solid his hold is, the fact that they're out of the cell and going through hallways she's never seen too clearly and can't see now really and she's okay with that, her eyes are closing as she presses further into him, reaches out the fragments of her mind that she has control over towards his for the reassurance of his presence, for the double physical and mental closeness.

It wasn't supposed to make him angrier, okay, she knows why they needed to but at the same time she hates the dullness that comes with it, wants to be terribly absolutely clear on these moments and his presence. But she sighs out in relief at that promise, hand in his shirt twisting tighter with each step forwards. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go. [ She promised him. She promised him she would always be there and then she wasn't and she's not even sure how long it was, just knows from the patterns of healing that it was too long. ] I wanted to stay, I'm sorry.

[ Seriously, he's just wrapping shields and shields around her, over and over again. As high and strong and thick as he can craft them, as quickly as he can. He opens his mind up to hers enough to be helpful and a safe place for hers to retreat to if she needs it, but hopefully not quite enough for her to see too deeply in - he neither wants her to actually see that, nor potentially be overwhelmed by it.

Sorry though, he can't really control being angry. He's gotten very good at using it to keep his focus sharp, so to a degree, okay, he can control the anger, just not whether it's there or not to begin with.

But holy god she can't just say things like that, okay. That's not fair at all, and it takes him a little by surprise and hits him altogether too hard, painful in his gut and tight in his chest all at once. So, also don't pay attention to his voice at all, okay. It's not much tighter all of a sudden at all. ] It's okay, I know. [ He can at least glance down at her and offer that same sort of smile he did earlier. ] It's fine, okay? I'm gonna fix it.

[ She can feel those shields, welcomes them with almost bone deep gratitude as she hides herself in his mind, curls into the space he's given her. She doesn't have the energy to go seeking any further yet as much as she might want to, so for a little bit that secret is safe. For now she's just going to stay right here and just not move.

She's going to be really sad once she realizes how consistent his anger has gotten, what the response to her being taken was. There is so much better that she wants for him, so much about relationships that makes her terrified about the ways she can hurt him, and this is one of the worst because this is the one she has no control over at all.

Shit, no, that's not. What she meant, she's just so twisted up right now. Her eyes slide back open a little when she feels him looking down and she drinks in that half a smile, watches him steadily with her eyes wide and fixed on him. ] I know you will. [ She's not entirely sure she's capable of being fixed, in truth, but if anyone can do it it's him. ] You fix everything.

[ Seriously there's really just going to be a lot of general sad and anger and shit surrounding them for a while, I think. But he'll never hold this against her - he's invested too much into being angry at those for whom he does for that to be a thing that will happen. There's probably going to be a little bit of time involved in constantly making sure she's still there, still nearby and safe, still her, and a fair bit of hiding of recent actions taken on his part, new scars crossing over old and the full extent of how far things got with her impostor before he realized what was happening.

Shh Max don't feel bad. Everything's fine, okay? Everything's still fine. He's walking into the ranger now and setting her in a seat and leaning it all the way back, and it's his and he built it and JARVIS is awesome and because of all that it's also awesome and it's packing up and flying home. He'll check on everything in a minute, but he has faith in his creations and less faith in what he sees now, so he's just gonna stick with her for a while. ] I do, I fix everything. It just takes a little while sometimes, but I'll figure it out. Do you need anything?

[ Yes that is fairly accurate. Fairly very very accurate. But if he thinks she's not going to go digging as soon as she realizes what happened, isn't going to try to find out every trace of her left in his mind and make sure that she didn't do anything that can't be fixed - well, that's just not going to happen.

Sticking with her is definitely preferred in this moment. She tracks everything in the Ranger briefly, eyes very sharp as she evaluates it and its safety and then they slide back to him and she softens again, lets herself relax because right, Tony's here, that means it's safe. ] How long? [ The question isn't one she enjoys asking, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need to.

Timing can be important. How long he was left alone - that's important. ]

[ He's quiet while she orients herself with the ship that is - to her - new. Stays in place while he gaze slides around and returns to him, and keeps the lines of his face calmer and as okay as he can find it in him to do. But that question is - not really one he can answer for her. So he misinterprets it on purpose. ] It's a fast ship, we'll be back in a couple of hours.

[ Quite new, really, and she's not sure when this became a thing but he's still there, solid and steady in her field of vision, so that's all right. She can handle that. But she's fairly certain that was deliberate on his part and she leans back a little further. ] That long.

[ But she nods after a moment, segues into choosing to take him as he's answered it. ] Okay. I can do that. Tell me - [ a pause as she just watches him, and then she holds out her hand. ] You are real, right?

[ He's thankful she let him answer it that way, even as he feels slightly guilty for not giving her the answer she wanted. She'll learn the extent of the time she was missing, very likely as soon as they get back to the house, where the date and time are always within earshot. He's letting her be spared that particular detail for the duration of this trip before she has to learn that as well.

But that pause, the way she reaches out - god it just makes something crack in his chest, some kind of soreness deep within it that's somehow unrelated to all the other shit that's literally already in there. He reaches out with his own hand, moves it at the same pace she did, and takes hers firmly but gently. ] I am very real. I promise you. [ Actually, he scoots a little closer to her, kneels next to the chair to stay lower than her, but moves to place her hand over the reactor, with his hand above hers. ] Completely real.

[ She can get it later. If it's really necessary, if she decides that she really wants to know (and at this moment with his refusal to answer she's not completely sure she does want to know). It can wait a little while at least. She's willing to trust in his opinion for at least a little while longer, until her curiosity overwhelms her again.

Oh. It's a gesture she doesn't think anyone else knows about, grasps the significance of, but it's the first time she's actually let herself truly believe in him and she just nods very slowly, presses her hand to the reactor and him and breathes out very slowly. ] You came. [ Her sudden smile and laugh is very unsteady and sounds more like choked relief than laughter, but. ] God, Tony. You're here.

[ He nods a little bit with her, and his eyes are definitely bright but he's not crying, because he's not going to do that right now. But all that choked relief, all that everything that's on her face and between her words - he's got all that too.

And she's got her hand on the reactor sure, but there's layers of shirts in the way, and he doesn't even really think about it, he just pulls them up and puts her hand on it properly, because there. That's where it goes. He pulls them back down over her arm though, because he does have new scars and it's not the time for that, but at least, god, it feels like they're finally close like they should be. It's a little piece of everything being right, just for a moment here. ]

[ She's not quite crying either, though honestly that's more just because she's not sure where to even start with how she feels right now than anything. She also has significant experience in not crying, but at some point she probably will start crying and it'll be a little while before she stops again.

That is where her hand goes, and she pushes herself up in the seat, is working vainly at an attempt to kneel down next to him. It's proving difficult because she's kind of not doing that hot in general, but he's going to need to either just lie down in the seat with her or help her come next to him because those are the only options she currently views as acceptable, the ones that let her keep her hand on the reactor and him right next to her. He's okay and alive and she's alive and okay and nothing else matters at all. ]

Hey hey, where're you going, it's okay. [ He pushes her back down to the seat, because she needs to be lying down, that's definitely A Thing right now, that she is lying down. It doesn't take him too long to figure out what she's doing though, and while the seat isn't quite big enough for him to lie down next to her, he does what he can with it instead. One of his hands still firmly over hers on the RT, he indicates she slide over as much as she can, and then he gets on the area she vacated, and he pulls her back over. Okay? She's mostly lying on top of him with his free arm around her, which in some degrees is probably not that good for her, but if she's going to be moving around otherwise, he doesn't know what else to do. ] It's fine, I promise. Promise I'm real; I'm not letting go, okay.

[ She shakes her head, keeps trying until he's figured out what she wants because she can't really say anything right now, she probably would start actually crying at that moment and she refuses to cry right now. She just got him back, she'd like to hold off on the crying all over him for a little bit longer. That would be really good. And see, he fixed it. She knew he would find a way to fix it and she curls into him as much as she can, presses her face into his neck and ignores the fact that it hurts because everything does that right now and this is the closest to relief she can get. ] Okay. [ Her fingers sliding across the skin around the reactor as she keeps her hand resting there, right over his heart. ] Thank you. Sorry. It's all hard to believe.

[ That feels just a little weird, because that's not a thing that happens platonically particularly often. He doesn't mind, it's just a thing. A thing that only she is allowed to do and that's sinking in because he's got the only person who is allowed that close to his heart back here right next to it again and if she's having a hard time accepting that he's real, he's having a hard time accepting reality. ] Shh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. We'll be home in a while, okay, just... Take a nap or something.

[ If it helps, the fact that he's willing to let her touch the arc reactor and keep her hand anchored over it is about the only reason she's accepted any of this as real at all. It could still be an elaborate fantasy, of course, but now she knows it isn't someone else pretending to be him. ] No. No, no sleeping, please. I don't want to sleep, I don't. Want to. [ For a moment there she was suddenly completely alert, shaking her head as she clung to him tighter. ] I'm fine right here. I'm fine.

Okay, okay, no sleeping. Sorry, you seemed tired. You don't have to sleep. [ Because Tony doesn't quite have the same regard for physical health vs. mental health when it comes to those he loves. If she doesn't want to sleep, she doesn't have to, and he'll even help her stay awake until she has to sleep. It keeps her happy until her body itself cries no more and takes care of the problem on its own. Tony loves the people he takes the time to actually love; he truly and deeply loves them, would hate to betray them in any way. If that means their decisions mean their immediate detriment, that's fine, so long as they mean to their benefit in the long run. Tony's fine with playing the long game. ] You're totally fine. You wanna talk about something? I don't have a TV in here or I'd offer that. Anything we can do from here, okay? Truth or dare, singing songs, just chatting about stuff. [ Because he suspects she needs a fairly steady stream of sounds at the moment. ]

Thank you. [ That's actually probably quite a good strategy of his in this case, because she's terrified of falling asleep and it might be good for her but until she just knocks out because there's no other option she's still going to be scared of it. And if she slept right now it would wipe out the work he's put towards convincing her that this is real, which would also be a problem. ] I'm super fine. Everything's good. Please. [ Which is a response to the last bit, but it takes her a little bit to clarify that. ] Tell me how JARVIS is. Where is he? He's here somewhere, right?

[ Hey that's understandable. That's pretty much exactly the issue he's having in the flipped version of this thread. ] JARVIS is fine, he's pretty much everywhere.

Indeed. I've been given a few more liberties in the past weeks. [ Because hey, why not let your superpowered AI loose on basically everything so you can find someone? Makes things go faster, right? ]

Everything's basically the same, you don't have to worry about it. I'll re-give you the tour when we get back, you can see for yourself.

[ Sleeping sucks man. ] Oh, good.

[ Except something about that seems slightly more not good. Something about the reason behind why he was given more liberties, she feels like she might need to know more about that later. ] Okay, a tour. I don't know what else there is to tell me, but can you keep talking? Just. Please say things, I don't care what.

[ no don't pay attention to that it was a necessary thing - it saved time and human resources and theoretically gave him more time to sleep!!

that he didn't use ]

Pepper was worried about you. She does that. Worries. Not that - I mean, I was too. But so was Pepper. Everything's still standing though. And there's a terrible new season of America's Next Top Model on. I've heard. They've added male models though, so that's fun. Just as bitchy as the regular ones. Also I figured out precisely how many chicken fingers are too many in one week - there was this whole thing with an accidental automatic order and let's just say we're going to have beef and vegetables and seafood for a while, because I am so done with chicken. Just, unbelievably done, you don't even want to know how many chicken fingers. All of them. [ he's been talking about chicken for too long hmmm ] Then there's the usual, you know, so-called competitors releasing vastly inferior technology, people getting mad when mine is better. I did have to finagle a slight corporate takeover though, since there's this one thing that actually could have been pretty cool if it wasn't clearly designed by a bunch of CalTech grad students, and buying the company is just so much more efficient than worrying about all the intellectual copyright claims later on. Potential! We're dishing up the prototype now, looking at commercial viability within the next nine months. I'm not sure why it takes so long, but I've always assumed I'm paying someone to actually hand paint 'Stark Industries' on every single piece of tech I sell. It's the only thing that makes sense.

[ how's that. ] Also we're getting a bit closer. No naps, okay? Naps are not allowed - I don't want to wake you up again in ten minutes, because I'll feel bad and we're just not doing that today. [ not at alllllll, shhhh ]

[ She's just listening throughout that whole spiel, drifting somewhere very happily inbetween believing all of this is real and thinking that it's just a very beautiful dream as she keeps her hand firmly over the reactor, curls into him as closely as she can get.

There's literally no way she's going to fall asleep now, not with him talking. Not going to happen. ] Pepper's not supposed to worry. Nobody's supposed to worry, that's dumb. I've done this before. [ Her voice might be a little muffled against his shirt but she's still speaking reasonably clearly, mostly because her diction is very purposely careful. ] I can do seafood, though, sounds good.

I'm not going to sleep. Don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel bad.

[ He's not totally sure how to respond to that for a moment, but he doesn't have a whole lot of time to think because he's supposed to keep talking. It means he winds up not being as eloquent or elliptical as he otherwise might have been, but it gets the job done regardless. ] It's dumb to think people won't worry. Not when they - not when they're used to you being there.

[ She's allowed to talk into his shirt, he really doesn't care. She can have the shirt, if she wants it. ] See food, eat food. Time-tested slogan. And I was kidding, I won't feel bad. I'm me, I don't feel bad about making people uncomfortable.

[ Oh. She's silent for a moment after that, just kind of chews that over because that is the other side of this, the side where she missed him like someone ripped out part of her chest but what if he felt something similar? She doesn't want him to have felt that. She knew she was in danger, that's why she didn't get close to people, except she got close to him anyways and then she was safe and now everything's complicated. ]

Are you okay? [ He doesn't seem very okay. He hasn't seemed very okay since she first felt his mind, and she can't tell if that's because of her or not. ]

you're welcome

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i don't know why people invite tony to ramble he's very good at it

yes she loves it when he does

that seems odd

but it's his voice and that means he's there