[ That's good, because he is not willing to put on that particular show for her right now. He isn't fond of crying - it always feels like overexposure, like a loss of control, leaves you later with a headache and dehydration without the decency of the inebriation beforehand. And he's pretty sure he's an ugly crier. So, no. They'll just neither of them let the other be alone and everything will be okay.
Yes, well. He still quantifies in the immediately measurable. Sue him, it's his scientific mindset, and he reserves the right to remain set in his ruts and ways.
It's fine though, he doesn't really want to let go of her either. Like, at all. But he's metal man and he'll fuck up the scans if he doesn't at least put a few feet and probably something solid-ish between them for a few seconds anyway. ] Right back.
[ So, stepping away, that's fine. He can do that. And then he can also step right back as soon as he's able, scoop her back up because fuck it, who's tired, he doesn't feel okay without her being that close right now. Moving somewhere a little better in the process - ] J, bring those with me, okay? [ - a little more comfortable for the both of them, where he can sit down with her and she can just stay on him or she can shift off to his side but either way, will be better on the bruises and whatever else he can already guess is there. ] Do you need water? A bath? Anything, really, is what I meant. Do you need anything?
[ The immediately measurable is a pretty reasonable thing to stick to, yes. Particularly when it comes to her and her tendency to let the truth lie unspoken and dormant unless it's something that becomes absolutely necessary to be made clear. She generally doesn't consider it entirely necessary, really.
She's fairly rigid and tense by the time he comes back, curling her hand into his shirt as soon as he picks her up and letting her breath out in a long relieved sigh. So long as he's here she feels better. She does stay on him, curled into him as much as she possibly can. Shakes her head a little, considers, revises her opinion. ] I probably need to get clean. Clean would be good. [ Clean would be really good, now that she's thinking about it. Wash everything off and start over again. ]
[ It's okay, he was pretty much expecting rigid and tense - he's not too far off from that himself. Having her out of reach is... Well. It's a thing, for both of them, apparently. Neither of them is okay with it, and even less so in terms of physiological reactions, nevermind the emotional and traumatic variants thereof. ]
That'll be easier to do if it's wet. If I'm doing it. Which is probably a bad idea but if you need it done immediately, then it's pretty much either me or Dummy, and I doubt you want him doing it. So. [ Bath time it is. Right. He'll go ahead and start moving. Jarvis is awesome - he'll have started a bath in the appropriate en suite by the time he gets there. ] I can leave you to it, or. Whatever you want. I mean, I won't be much further than the door either way, but. Up to you.
[ They're certainly a pair, right now, if by pair you mean both rather thoroughly messed up. She's not completely surprised to feel tension in his body too, just doesn't like it or want it to be there. At the same time she doesn't really know to erase it from him any more than she does for herself. ]
I don't care what it looks like, I just want it gone. [ It's too long and too hard to scrub clean and it's not the first time she's done this, used cutting off her hair as a means of gaining back some amount of control. It works well enough. But her response to his next bit is immediate and a little pleading. ]
Please don't go. [ That was too desperate, she doesn't want to be desperate. Her next words are more subdued. ] You may not want to watch, but I don't want you to go anywhere else. [ If he just wants to sit nearby with his back turned that's fine, she doesn't expect him to be at all okay with seeing any of this really. ]
You can always get it touched up later. Or whatever. Rock the potentially slightly asymmetrical do-up I'm about to give you.
[ Hey, hey, it's fine. It was an offer, not an informed statement as to what would be happening. He'd told her closer to himself but one: he's supposed to be putting her down, and two: he's probably been doing that enough as it is and doesn't want to hurt her. ] Shh, no worries, I can handle whatever you throw at me, that's half the point. Sparing your discomfort, or something, shows what I get trying to be aware of feelings. Here, just sit tight for a second, listen to the - uh - water or, hey, I'll just keep talking. Towels are there, gotta get everything else within reach. Ish. How 'bout them... Dodgers? Mets? It's baseball for that, right? I could just say Giants, I think that's two sports in one stone anyway.
I'm okay with asymmetrical, it'll look cool. I'll be a cool kid.
[ She's not going to say no to him holding her closer at any point here, but she does accept being put down, moves to the edge of the bath and starts taking her clothes off before slipping into the bath. Warm water, okay, that's pretty amazing. The sensation of dirt and blood peeling off, even better. ] You shouldn't have to. But thank you. [ He shouldn't be having to deal with any of this. But god, it's nice listening to him talk. She huffs out a breath of air, shakes her head slowly. ] I love you.
[ Not what she'd intended to respond with, but that doesn't make it any less terribly accurate. ]
[ She's not really apparently paying that much attention to him, so she'll probably miss the hitch in his movement her statement provokes. Then again, it happens pretty much every time she says that, so she's probably to some extent aware that it happened anyway even if she didn't actually see it this time. But he smoothly continues on - gotta keep talking, gotta keep moving, because otherwise he's gotta actually handle this to some degree, and he's not as good with that as he is with whatever it is that he counts all of this as being instead. ]
Of course you do. Me too. To you, I mean. And obviously to me too, I definitely love me some me. Let's see how you're doing - [ and wow yup definitely gonna keep talking, and not about how that water is turning an interesting shade he would call 'grunge pink'. Maybe. ] - I can go that, I mean, I can stay here or whatever. We already had this conversation, I know. Here's that washcloth I promised. Maybe Seattle Champagne. That's a good name. Consonance and all.
[ It's that hitch in his movement (and it doesn't entirely escape her though it's almost entirely on a subconscious level that she registers it right now) and the one in her own that tends to happen when he says it himself that are among the reasons 'I love you' isn't something that tends to get said directly between the two of them. Among the reasons she didn't entirely intend to say it right now, but she finds it's what she's been wanting to say to him for a long time, was worried she wouldn't get the chance again. She closes her eyes and soaks up his words and the warmth, opening them to take the washcloth he's handing her and kind of looking between it and her, slightly askance because she's not sure she wants anything touching her right now. Well, except him.
But that is the point of the bath, so she starts a little gingerly, trying to keep her face blank as she does so though she shoots him a slightly confused look at that last bit. ] What's Seattle Champagne a good name for? [ She missed that whole internal monologue part there, okay. ] And where are scissors? [ She's completely serious about chopping all of her hair off, here. It's too heavy. ]
[ It's okay - he more or less recognized the blurt of affection for the uncaged fear that it was. It added a moment of tension to the hitch and pause in his body, but at least she's here to relieve that worry. At least he's here with her to hear the words that might not have been shared. It's the kind of victory that makes you wonder why you fight sometimes, but simultaneously it's the kind of defeat that spurs you forward.
He steps towards the counter by the sink again for a moment before returning, scissors in hand, and doesn't then not know what to do with himself at all. This isn't a problem. ] They're right here. Did you want to... or did you want me to? I think it was me, but I don't - I meant the color of the water. It's an interesting tint.
[ She's probably to spend a fair amount of time fairly convinced she's about to lose him again because that's what happens, right, this is what history has taught her and she really can't do that again. Maybe not ever. Definitely not right now. But he's here right now, and she told him what she needed to, and she's getting clean somewhat even if she won't feel like it for a long time.
Her eyes are following him, just the tiniest ghost of a smile as she reaches a hand out to touch his for a moment. Reassurance he's solid, again. ] Just hack it all off. I don't want it.
[ Oh. That. She considers it for a moment. ] I might need to drain the bath and start over in a minute, I guess. It's not all mine. Or recent. Time, you know. They aren't big on showers in prisons.
[ That's fine. He's solid. Solid enough, anyway. He's okay though, you can touch him. He likes knowing that you're solid too. ] Okay. All of it then. You're gonna look like a punk rock model, high cheekbones and a tight buzz and just enough lithe movement to set off a spark in anyone who gets too close to the tender tinder. [ What even man just keep talking. Or don't. Actually probably don't, but like that's going to stop him. ] Just, uh. Sit still. Actually get it wet again, it seems a little damp. Dry. It only seems damp.
[ As for that, he shrugs a bit. ] Whatever you want. I know it's not all yours; some of it's a different blood type. [ I mean. Don't read too far into that one, Max. Just keep going. ] Maybe after I cut this hair off, so you have less to double-clean.
[ Tony, are you okay, she doesn't think you're okay at all. You're doing that whole babbling thing that happens sometimes when you don't know what else is going on or what to say. Please start making more sense soon she's going to worry otherwise. But she obliging slips down long enough to get her hair wet before pushing back up to lean against the side of the tub, half heartedly trying to wash off anything lingering.
She's not trying that one all that hard at all though, because it hurts. ] Don't - you're smelling it? [ Please. Like she was ever going to not read all the way into that one. ] We're going to fix that.
[ He's babbling though - it's pretty normal, at least as far as anyone's ever told him. People interrupt him all the time, usually to tell him that he's still talking, which, thanks, he knew that??
well, usually he knew that anyway. sometimes it's a bit of a surprise. sometimes he doesn't like that he talks so much. sometimes he says things that he didn't even realize he was thinking and it's a little alarming to be sharing your ideas and thoughts with other people before you've shared them with yourself to begin with. ]
What? No, it's fine. It's not that bad. I mean, blood - not my favorite scent, but it's not fresh. [ In terms of blood, anyway. It's not too bad right now. When they start cleaning her up afterwards, when they break out the antiseptics and antibiotics and the wounds bleed a little bit all over again, if they do, then it'll be time to dab a little oil under his nose. ] Hold still, okay? Unless you're into the asymmetrical thing - I hear that's pretty big in the hip hop videos.
[ Yeah, he babbles, but there's a difference between his normal babbling and the babbling he was just doing. It was just different, okay. She knows, even if she couldn't tell him exactly how it was. It felt wrong.
Mmm hmmm. She doesn't even sort of believe that, but she still just sags back against the edge of the bath tug and stays still. ] That's bullshit. I'm still.
You are still. Good job. [ He completely condescendingly pats the top of her head and then more or less immediately moves his hands to start cutting her hair so she can't actually retaliate. Not that he thought she was going to, but still. A bit of levity, a bit of normality here in the moment, helps get them to the next, and then the one after that, &c. ]
I feel like we need to be gossiping about someone's baby-daddy. Isn't that what happens in salons?
Asshole. [ Still tired but fond and amused. He's right, the little moment of normalcy is a nice relief, a change from everything else. It makes things seem easier, like they do stand a chance of eventually making their way entirely back to normal. Bit by bit, and she stays still except to keep idly running her hands over herself, making sure that she's washed off the dirt. ]
I don't really know. Is someone pregnant that we know? [ Considering the small circle of people they know it seems unlikely, but hey. ] I think you're also allowed to gossip about, like. [ Uhhh what are you allowed to gossip about. ] Celebrities?
Yeah, we probably are allowed to gossip about celebrities, but we already talk about me all the time, I was trying to inject a little variety into things. But hey, we can talk about me if you want to, sure.
[ Straight lines, right? He figures if he tries for something mostly straight, then at least he can claim either success or intentional failure depending on how it goes. Or maybe she just wants something chopped looking, or layered. In truth, he actually has very steady hands, very good fine motor control - it's really just that hair hates to stay still for some reason. It always seems to curve off somewhere and surprise you after you've already swept. ]
You realize you're not the only celebrity in the universe, right? What if I actually want to hear about how, uh. [ Wait she needs a celebrity's name. Shit. ] How Angelia Jolie's been doing while I was gone.
[ Success! And she genuinely just doesn't care what her hair looks like at the end of this, so long as a significant portion of it's gone. At least back to the length it was before she was taken. ] I won't say no to hearing more about you, though.
I'm here, and you'd rather talk about Angelina Jolie? [ Snip, cut. ] Yeah, okay, I'd rather talk about Angelina too. I think she's been fine, but I haven't seen her personally for a while now.
Well. Not necessarily rather, but I figure you'll be slightly more honest about her. [ She's just saying. How much have you already been lying to her about how okay you are, Tony, huh? ] Little busy giving JARVIS expanded rein?
[ But you know, she thinks she can make him be honest eventually. ]
[ Wow way to crash all that nice buoyancy they had floating around here. He's quiet for just half a moment, subtly chastised, but unwilling to admit defeat just yet. ] JARVIS typically has free rein. I just encouraged him to use it productively instead of obsessively googling me all day. [ Shrug. He pauses cutting her hair first to do that, just to be clear. ] I had him google you for a few days instead.
[ The buoyancy was nice and she might want it back soon but also she's tired and she's worried about him and concealing things takes a lot more effort than she actually has in her right now. ] Yeah? What's out there on me?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i spaced them out what do you want from me.
Yes, well. He still quantifies in the immediately measurable. Sue him, it's his scientific mindset, and he reserves the right to remain set in his ruts and ways.
It's fine though, he doesn't really want to let go of her either. Like, at all. But he's metal man and he'll fuck up the scans if he doesn't at least put a few feet and probably something solid-ish between them for a few seconds anyway. ] Right back.
[ So, stepping away, that's fine. He can do that. And then he can also step right back as soon as he's able, scoop her back up because fuck it, who's tired, he doesn't feel okay without her being that close right now. Moving somewhere a little better in the process - ] J, bring those with me, okay? [ - a little more comfortable for the both of them, where he can sit down with her and she can just stay on him or she can shift off to his side but either way, will be better on the bruises and whatever else he can already guess is there. ] Do you need water? A bath? Anything, really, is what I meant. Do you need anything?
you are ridiculous i can't even
She's fairly rigid and tense by the time he comes back, curling her hand into his shirt as soon as he picks her up and letting her breath out in a long relieved sigh. So long as he's here she feels better. She does stay on him, curled into him as much as she possibly can. Shakes her head a little, considers, revises her opinion. ] I probably need to get clean. Clean would be good. [ Clean would be really good, now that she's thinking about it. Wash everything off and start over again. ]
And I'd like to cut my hair.
yeah probably
That'll be easier to do if it's wet. If I'm doing it. Which is probably a bad idea but if you need it done immediately, then it's pretty much either me or Dummy, and I doubt you want him doing it. So. [ Bath time it is. Right. He'll go ahead and start moving. Jarvis is awesome - he'll have started a bath in the appropriate en suite by the time he gets there. ] I can leave you to it, or. Whatever you want. I mean, I won't be much further than the door either way, but. Up to you.
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I don't care what it looks like, I just want it gone. [ It's too long and too hard to scrub clean and it's not the first time she's done this, used cutting off her hair as a means of gaining back some amount of control. It works well enough. But her response to his next bit is immediate and a little pleading. ]
Please don't go. [ That was too desperate, she doesn't want to be desperate. Her next words are more subdued. ] You may not want to watch, but I don't want you to go anywhere else. [ If he just wants to sit nearby with his back turned that's fine, she doesn't expect him to be at all okay with seeing any of this really. ]
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[ Hey, hey, it's fine. It was an offer, not an informed statement as to what would be happening. He'd told her closer to himself but one: he's supposed to be putting her down, and two: he's probably been doing that enough as it is and doesn't want to hurt her. ] Shh, no worries, I can handle whatever you throw at me, that's half the point. Sparing your discomfort, or something, shows what I get trying to be aware of feelings. Here, just sit tight for a second, listen to the - uh - water or, hey, I'll just keep talking. Towels are there, gotta get everything else within reach. Ish. How 'bout them... Dodgers? Mets? It's baseball for that, right? I could just say Giants, I think that's two sports in one stone anyway.
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[ She's not going to say no to him holding her closer at any point here, but she does accept being put down, moves to the edge of the bath and starts taking her clothes off before slipping into the bath. Warm water, okay, that's pretty amazing. The sensation of dirt and blood peeling off, even better. ] You shouldn't have to. But thank you. [ He shouldn't be having to deal with any of this. But god, it's nice listening to him talk. She huffs out a breath of air, shakes her head slowly. ] I love you.
[ Not what she'd intended to respond with, but that doesn't make it any less terribly accurate. ]
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Of course you do. Me too. To you, I mean. And obviously to me too, I definitely love me some me. Let's see how you're doing - [ and wow yup definitely gonna keep talking, and not about how that water is turning an interesting shade he would call 'grunge pink'. Maybe. ] - I can go that, I mean, I can stay here or whatever. We already had this conversation, I know. Here's that washcloth I promised. Maybe Seattle Champagne. That's a good name. Consonance and all.
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But that is the point of the bath, so she starts a little gingerly, trying to keep her face blank as she does so though she shoots him a slightly confused look at that last bit. ] What's Seattle Champagne a good name for? [ She missed that whole internal monologue part there, okay. ] And where are scissors? [ She's completely serious about chopping all of her hair off, here. It's too heavy. ]
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He steps towards the counter by the sink again for a moment before returning, scissors in hand, and doesn't then not know what to do with himself at all. This isn't a problem. ] They're right here. Did you want to... or did you want me to? I think it was me, but I don't - I meant the color of the water. It's an interesting tint.
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Her eyes are following him, just the tiniest ghost of a smile as she reaches a hand out to touch his for a moment. Reassurance he's solid, again. ] Just hack it all off. I don't want it.
[ Oh. That. She considers it for a moment. ] I might need to drain the bath and start over in a minute, I guess. It's not all mine. Or recent. Time, you know. They aren't big on showers in prisons.
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[ As for that, he shrugs a bit. ] Whatever you want. I know it's not all yours; some of it's a different blood type. [ I mean. Don't read too far into that one, Max. Just keep going. ] Maybe after I cut this hair off, so you have less to double-clean.
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She's not trying that one all that hard at all though, because it hurts. ] Don't - you're smelling it? [ Please. Like she was ever going to not read all the way into that one. ] We're going to fix that.
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well, usually he knew that anyway. sometimes it's a bit of a surprise. sometimes he doesn't like that he talks so much. sometimes he says things that he didn't even realize he was thinking and it's a little alarming to be sharing your ideas and thoughts with other people before you've shared them with yourself to begin with. ]
What? No, it's fine. It's not that bad. I mean, blood - not my favorite scent, but it's not fresh. [ In terms of blood, anyway. It's not too bad right now. When they start cleaning her up afterwards, when they break out the antiseptics and antibiotics and the wounds bleed a little bit all over again, if they do, then it'll be time to dab a little oil under his nose. ] Hold still, okay? Unless you're into the asymmetrical thing - I hear that's pretty big in the hip hop videos.
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Mmm hmmm. She doesn't even sort of believe that, but she still just sags back against the edge of the bath tug and stays still. ] That's bullshit. I'm still.
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I feel like we need to be gossiping about someone's baby-daddy. Isn't that what happens in salons?
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I don't really know. Is someone pregnant that we know? [ Considering the small circle of people they know it seems unlikely, but hey. ] I think you're also allowed to gossip about, like. [ Uhhh what are you allowed to gossip about. ] Celebrities?
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[ Straight lines, right? He figures if he tries for something mostly straight, then at least he can claim either success or intentional failure depending on how it goes. Or maybe she just wants something chopped looking, or layered. In truth, he actually has very steady hands, very good fine motor control - it's really just that hair hates to stay still for some reason. It always seems to curve off somewhere and surprise you after you've already swept. ]
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[ Success! And she genuinely just doesn't care what her hair looks like at the end of this, so long as a significant portion of it's gone. At least back to the length it was before she was taken. ] I won't say no to hearing more about you, though.
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[ But you know, she thinks she can make him be honest eventually. ]
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