[ I want to do this we're doing this. It can be the next one we start. Let's start it now. Let's do everything.
Max and touch gets very complicated sometimes, because there are still moments all this time later when she becomes convinced that she's back in a cell, her mind creating people there with her just to keep her from completely losing it, and touch is how she remembers that she's not.
She could never touch them.
So touch is a means of reassurance of everything being okay, and touch that comes from care is a luxury that she's denied herself for a long time because there was no one she trusted enough to allow it who was also willing to allow themselves the danger of caring. It's almost never truly casual to her, but she's slowly learning to let it mean nothing in particular other than that she's happy he's here. She leans down to press her lips to his forehead, keeps running her hand through his hair as she sits back up. ] Totally shouldn't.
[ Tony's own relationship with touch isn't complicated in that sense. It's never been something that either was or wasn't there in terms of possibility in as much as it's simply deceptive in its significance, and craved all the more for its more-often-than-not insincerity. Touch, in his experience, has been ephemeral in both meaning and frequency, and he's not sure which part of it he dislikes more. Similarly to her, he's learning to associate it more normally, now that there's someone always around who doesn't abuse it.
He sits up on his elbows after a little while though. He really doesn't want to sleep again, and he doesn't want to get sleepy, and the quiet for even that little bit of time just now is more than enough. ] Are you going back to sleep?
[ They're both learning how touch works in a healthy and happy relationship, which is hilarious because this should not be a remotely healthy relationship they both have too many issues. And yet it is, and they're learning normalcy from decidedly abnormal sources for it. She likes him touching her, and her touching him, and the constancy of knowing that it's possible. It's both helpful and just very, very nice.
But at that she shakes her head, cups the back of his neck for a moment and then returns to stroking his hair. ] Not unless you are.
[ You wouldn't think such nice things could come out of such broken ones, but there they are, with each of the other being the reason they can have nice things.
He shakes his head just a little bit, because he doesn't want her to stop, nor is there actually much here that he's objecting to. ] I don't wanna keep you up. I'll be fine.
[ Only that involves still having the ability to have sex, because she really likes that one. He's very very good at it. ]
I've been asleep a lot over time, I generally don't find it necessary to stay asleep. [ She runs her hand down to his shoulder, kneads the muscles there for a moment before sliding it back up to his hair. ] It's okay. You're not causing me trouble, don't worry about it.
He is uncertain, and he lets it show a little bit, except when she's rubbing his shoulder because holy shit that was a thing he never knew he needed, and it's not until she starts carding her fingers through his hair again that he can talk. ] It is trouble though. You were asleep, and then you got up to help. Me, and then that was hard on us both I didn't miss that, and then now you're staying up - I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. I just... I don't want to sleep.
[ She waits until he's done talking, but that reaction to her hand on his shoulder wasn't missed and she shifts enough that it's easy to rest both of her hands on his shoulders, try to leverage a little more stress out of his muscles, see if she can't ease them. ] Whatever you do, if you want me there too I'll be there. [ Said quite matter of factly. ] It was hard on us both, but I don't really - it's easier, with you. Things are. I'd rather be up with you than trying to sleep again.
Max no he doesn't know what to do with people who are just... available.
Well, actually, he does, he knows exactly what to do with people who are just available to him and it typically winds up in him taking advantage of the situation. And yes, by 'people' I mean 'Rhodey and Pepper'. Who else does Tony ever have a good comparison to?
But he keeps that thought to himself, and not just because he's busy with the way that her hands feel right now. He keeps it to himself because it seems like another reason this whole thing is his mess and she doesn't need to know all of it immediately, not like that. ] I'm not gonna do anything specific. I mean, I might get into it, but that's not the intention right now. [ Beat. ] Things are easier with you too.
[ She's not terribly inclined to let him do anything that she feels would be taking advantage of her, and if he feels he's taking advantage of her then maybe he should ask her if she feels the same way because the odds are very very high she doesn't at all.
She hums a little, shrugs and keeps on with her impromptu massage because working with her hands is always in some respect soothing and she thinks it's helping him a little here too. ] It's okay. I don't feel like sleeping, so I'll just stay up with you. If you want me. [ Because there is always the option that it would be better for him to be alone, but she thinks right now that's not so much a thing. A pause of her own in response, and then she nods. ] I'm glad.
those are the shoulders she's rubbing look at those shoulders man
[ Why on earth would he ask her and give her the opportunity to concretely make him aware that he's taking advantage of her? It's much better to simply feel like it might be happening, accept the guilt if it is and the benefits of it not being so.
His response to that though, is without hesitation at all. ] I always want you. [ Which just means there's more pause before the following. It's time for some lightheartedness again. ] Sexually. Purely.
thank you for reminding me i would never have thought to look closely at his shoulders otherwise
[ Because then she could inform him that he totally isn't taking advantage of her at all, but I suppose if he thinks he is anyways he wouldn't ask at all.
She can run with the lighthearted section of that, because leaving it for precisely its face value is something she's going to store away for later. To remember. ] Both at once? That seems hard.
[ They're okay, they can reacclimate quickly. It's not perfect, because he's not quite steady yet and things are still a little tense, but it's better than it could be. By far. ] Purely sexual. Other way around. Bite me.
[ They always do manage to reacclimate quickly. And right now she's just following his lead, really, however serious or not serious he wants it to be, because making him comfortable again is the majority of her goal here. She laughs a little bit at that, pushes a little harder at the knots in his muscles. ] Only if you bite me back, baby.
[ She makes a hum back, scoots a little closer so his head can rest in her lap if he wants to. ] I just sort of picked them up. I've always had good hands.
[ Initially, he won't take her up on that offer, but as she keeps kneading, he won't be able to help himself and he'll slowly tip back into it. ] I can believe that. You've always had good hands. Like some kind of Allstate paradigm.
[ A little snort of amusement out of her and she lifts one hand for a moment to ruffle his hair, smooth it back down again before she returns to massaging him. ] I can be Allstate. I can be their mascot.
[ He's not sure what to do with the ruffling since it's always been either her or someone from when he was like... seven, that did that. ] I'll make a call, see if they want to switch from Dennis, get you in as a spokesperson.
[ She tends to do it as one of those gestures she makes when she doesn't know how else to express how affectionate she feels towards him. ] Wouldn't that require spending time away, though? I didn't think this through, I don't know how I feel about that.
[ He doesn't have a problem with it, he likes it, he's just not ever sure what to do with it. ] Well you don't have to be, you can stay here and just be for me. I think I like that idea better anyway. I'm a selfish only child, I don't want to share my stuff.
[ That's okay, she'll probably do it enough over time that eventually he'll know what to do with it if simply by default. ] Normally I think I'd be obliged to say that's a bad thing, but I think in this instance I'm actually okay with such a mindset. Totally works for you.
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Max and touch gets very complicated sometimes, because there are still moments all this time later when she becomes convinced that she's back in a cell, her mind creating people there with her just to keep her from completely losing it, and touch is how she remembers that she's not.
She could never touch them.
So touch is a means of reassurance of everything being okay, and touch that comes from care is a luxury that she's denied herself for a long time because there was no one she trusted enough to allow it who was also willing to allow themselves the danger of caring. It's almost never truly casual to her, but she's slowly learning to let it mean nothing in particular other than that she's happy he's here. She leans down to press her lips to his forehead, keeps running her hand through his hair as she sits back up. ] Totally shouldn't.
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He sits up on his elbows after a little while though. He really doesn't want to sleep again, and he doesn't want to get sleepy, and the quiet for even that little bit of time just now is more than enough. ] Are you going back to sleep?
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But at that she shakes her head, cups the back of his neck for a moment and then returns to stroking his hair. ] Not unless you are.
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He shakes his head just a little bit, because he doesn't want her to stop, nor is there actually much here that he's objecting to. ] I don't wanna keep you up. I'll be fine.
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A quick shake of her head in turn, smiling at him a little in reassurance. ] I never mind staying up when you're around.
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But you were asleep. When I woke up. Honestly, it's okay, you should sleep.
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I've been asleep a lot over time, I generally don't find it necessary to stay asleep. [ She runs her hand down to his shoulder, kneads the muscles there for a moment before sliding it back up to his hair. ] It's okay. You're not causing me trouble, don't worry about it.
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He is uncertain, and he lets it show a little bit, except when she's rubbing his shoulder because holy shit that was a thing he never knew he needed, and it's not until she starts carding her fingers through his hair again that he can talk. ] It is trouble though. You were asleep, and then you got up to help. Me, and then that was hard on us both I didn't miss that, and then now you're staying up - I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. I just... I don't want to sleep.
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Max no he doesn't know what to do with people who are just... available.
Well, actually, he does, he knows exactly what to do with people who are just available to him and it typically winds up in him taking advantage of the situation. And yes, by 'people' I mean 'Rhodey and Pepper'. Who else does Tony ever have a good comparison to?
But he keeps that thought to himself, and not just because he's busy with the way that her hands feel right now. He keeps it to himself because it seems like another reason this whole thing is his mess and she doesn't need to know all of it immediately, not like that. ] I'm not gonna do anything specific. I mean, I might get into it, but that's not the intention right now. [ Beat. ] Things are easier with you too.
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She hums a little, shrugs and keeps on with her impromptu massage because working with her hands is always in some respect soothing and she thinks it's helping him a little here too. ] It's okay. I don't feel like sleeping, so I'll just stay up with you. If you want me. [ Because there is always the option that it would be better for him to be alone, but she thinks right now that's not so much a thing. A pause of her own in response, and then she nods. ] I'm glad.
those are the shoulders she's rubbing look at those shoulders man
His response to that though, is without hesitation at all. ] I always want you. [ Which just means there's more pause before the following. It's time for some lightheartedness again. ] Sexually. Purely.
thank you for reminding me i would never have thought to look closely at his shoulders otherwise
She can run with the lighthearted section of that, because leaving it for precisely its face value is something she's going to store away for later. To remember. ] Both at once? That seems hard.
i'm glad i could be of service!
i just bet you are :|
ily
ily too
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is this thread wrapping up too?
it could well be, yeah, they're likely just going to stay awake together i think?
and not do anything in particular, yeah, that's what i think too
so long as he stops being an ass :|
shhh he's still coping
that's a terrible method of coping tony
were you expecting a good one????
admittedly not really
thank you
you are welcome. and okay yes i think that's about it for this one