fe_male | memeboxing

[ She shakes her head, keeps trying until he's figured out what she wants because she can't really say anything right now, she probably would start actually crying at that moment and she refuses to cry right now. She just got him back, she'd like to hold off on the crying all over him for a little bit longer. That would be really good. And see, he fixed it. She knew he would find a way to fix it and she curls into him as much as she can, presses her face into his neck and ignores the fact that it hurts because everything does that right now and this is the closest to relief she can get. ] Okay. [ Her fingers sliding across the skin around the reactor as she keeps her hand resting there, right over his heart. ] Thank you. Sorry. It's all hard to believe.

[ That feels just a little weird, because that's not a thing that happens platonically particularly often. He doesn't mind, it's just a thing. A thing that only she is allowed to do and that's sinking in because he's got the only person who is allowed that close to his heart back here right next to it again and if she's having a hard time accepting that he's real, he's having a hard time accepting reality. ] Shh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. We'll be home in a while, okay, just... Take a nap or something.

[ If it helps, the fact that he's willing to let her touch the arc reactor and keep her hand anchored over it is about the only reason she's accepted any of this as real at all. It could still be an elaborate fantasy, of course, but now she knows it isn't someone else pretending to be him. ] No. No, no sleeping, please. I don't want to sleep, I don't. Want to. [ For a moment there she was suddenly completely alert, shaking her head as she clung to him tighter. ] I'm fine right here. I'm fine.

Okay, okay, no sleeping. Sorry, you seemed tired. You don't have to sleep. [ Because Tony doesn't quite have the same regard for physical health vs. mental health when it comes to those he loves. If she doesn't want to sleep, she doesn't have to, and he'll even help her stay awake until she has to sleep. It keeps her happy until her body itself cries no more and takes care of the problem on its own. Tony loves the people he takes the time to actually love; he truly and deeply loves them, would hate to betray them in any way. If that means their decisions mean their immediate detriment, that's fine, so long as they mean to their benefit in the long run. Tony's fine with playing the long game. ] You're totally fine. You wanna talk about something? I don't have a TV in here or I'd offer that. Anything we can do from here, okay? Truth or dare, singing songs, just chatting about stuff. [ Because he suspects she needs a fairly steady stream of sounds at the moment. ]

Thank you. [ That's actually probably quite a good strategy of his in this case, because she's terrified of falling asleep and it might be good for her but until she just knocks out because there's no other option she's still going to be scared of it. And if she slept right now it would wipe out the work he's put towards convincing her that this is real, which would also be a problem. ] I'm super fine. Everything's good. Please. [ Which is a response to the last bit, but it takes her a little bit to clarify that. ] Tell me how JARVIS is. Where is he? He's here somewhere, right?

[ Hey that's understandable. That's pretty much exactly the issue he's having in the flipped version of this thread. ] JARVIS is fine, he's pretty much everywhere.

Indeed. I've been given a few more liberties in the past weeks. [ Because hey, why not let your superpowered AI loose on basically everything so you can find someone? Makes things go faster, right? ]

Everything's basically the same, you don't have to worry about it. I'll re-give you the tour when we get back, you can see for yourself.

[ Sleeping sucks man. ] Oh, good.

[ Except something about that seems slightly more not good. Something about the reason behind why he was given more liberties, she feels like she might need to know more about that later. ] Okay, a tour. I don't know what else there is to tell me, but can you keep talking? Just. Please say things, I don't care what.

[ no don't pay attention to that it was a necessary thing - it saved time and human resources and theoretically gave him more time to sleep!!

that he didn't use ]

Pepper was worried about you. She does that. Worries. Not that - I mean, I was too. But so was Pepper. Everything's still standing though. And there's a terrible new season of America's Next Top Model on. I've heard. They've added male models though, so that's fun. Just as bitchy as the regular ones. Also I figured out precisely how many chicken fingers are too many in one week - there was this whole thing with an accidental automatic order and let's just say we're going to have beef and vegetables and seafood for a while, because I am so done with chicken. Just, unbelievably done, you don't even want to know how many chicken fingers. All of them. [ he's been talking about chicken for too long hmmm ] Then there's the usual, you know, so-called competitors releasing vastly inferior technology, people getting mad when mine is better. I did have to finagle a slight corporate takeover though, since there's this one thing that actually could have been pretty cool if it wasn't clearly designed by a bunch of CalTech grad students, and buying the company is just so much more efficient than worrying about all the intellectual copyright claims later on. Potential! We're dishing up the prototype now, looking at commercial viability within the next nine months. I'm not sure why it takes so long, but I've always assumed I'm paying someone to actually hand paint 'Stark Industries' on every single piece of tech I sell. It's the only thing that makes sense.

[ how's that. ] Also we're getting a bit closer. No naps, okay? Naps are not allowed - I don't want to wake you up again in ten minutes, because I'll feel bad and we're just not doing that today. [ not at alllllll, shhhh ]

[ She's just listening throughout that whole spiel, drifting somewhere very happily inbetween believing all of this is real and thinking that it's just a very beautiful dream as she keeps her hand firmly over the reactor, curls into him as closely as she can get.

There's literally no way she's going to fall asleep now, not with him talking. Not going to happen. ] Pepper's not supposed to worry. Nobody's supposed to worry, that's dumb. I've done this before. [ Her voice might be a little muffled against his shirt but she's still speaking reasonably clearly, mostly because her diction is very purposely careful. ] I can do seafood, though, sounds good.

I'm not going to sleep. Don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel bad.

[ He's not totally sure how to respond to that for a moment, but he doesn't have a whole lot of time to think because he's supposed to keep talking. It means he winds up not being as eloquent or elliptical as he otherwise might have been, but it gets the job done regardless. ] It's dumb to think people won't worry. Not when they - not when they're used to you being there.

[ She's allowed to talk into his shirt, he really doesn't care. She can have the shirt, if she wants it. ] See food, eat food. Time-tested slogan. And I was kidding, I won't feel bad. I'm me, I don't feel bad about making people uncomfortable.

[ Oh. She's silent for a moment after that, just kind of chews that over because that is the other side of this, the side where she missed him like someone ripped out part of her chest but what if he felt something similar? She doesn't want him to have felt that. She knew she was in danger, that's why she didn't get close to people, except she got close to him anyways and then she was safe and now everything's complicated. ]

Are you okay? [ He doesn't seem very okay. He hasn't seemed very okay since she first felt his mind, and she can't tell if that's because of her or not. ]

[ nevermind whether he's even opened his mouth or not.

What. Why is she quiet. No, no, bad. He considers saying something else, probably random, another ramble, but she asks him a question before he can decide whether or not that's actually something he wants to do.

Is he okay?

Probably not. But fat chance in hell is he going to tell her that. ] What? I'm fine. I'm great, look. I've finally got you back. Best I've been in a while.

[ There's a ton of stuff she's going to have to process, over the next space of time, and she's starting the process in very vague spurts, just the beginning of awareness on things like how long it's been. How not okay he is. Whether he got any help, what she can do to fix this, how long it's going to take her body to heal this time.

This time. God, she hates that she has to put it like that.

She shakes her head a little, doesn't look up. ] Did you get help while I was gone at all?

[ She doesn't have to do anything except to stop being so perceptive. She's injured and can't even walk!! Don't know things! ]

I had lots of help. [ uhh, looking. for her. That counts. ] When I needed it. Everything's fine.

[ She could totally walk, okay, he just didn't let her. She could probably walk. With a lot of effort and trying very hard not to cry. But she could do it, in theory.

There's a short pause as she considers that statement, mulling over it. She's fairly certain that she doesn't believe it, at all, which is paradoxically actually more of a confirmation that it probably is actually Tony. ] I don't think I believe you.

[ His argument this time is that if you can't do it without crying then you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place and he doesn't think it counts. ]

Well that's dumb. You should always believe me. Look at me, I'm totally believable. What did I ever do to you to make you think you can't believe me?

[ No, it totally counts. But she's shaking her head stubbornly almost before he's even finished, trying to push herself up to look him in the eyes. ]

When it comes to your own wellbeing? Everything.

[ Okay okay, no, lie back down, it's fine, he'll stop lying if you lie down okay, it's not worth you getting back up. ]

Hey, it's cool, come back. Sorry. It - [ ugh he hates telling the truth though it's so icy and metallic coming out of his mouth. it just feels that way sometimes. ] It wouldn't have been as often as you liked, but I did. Promise. When it was really necessary. I took care of it before by myself, it was okay.

[ She stills when she starts to get a real answer, curls back into him and listens and it's not entirely what she wants, she wants him to have been completely okay (she wants to have not left him in the first place) but it's better. ]

Okay. I believe that more. [ Staying here, now. ] I'll help. You fix me, I fix you. It'll be fine.

[ Okay, good. Now that that's settled. They're really not that far away, but he doesn't really know what to say right now anymore before they get there. ] We'll be fine. And also home soon. I'm gonna carry you inside okay, I won't let go, I'm still here.

[ She's just going to quietly cling to him as much as she possibly can right now, and okay now she might be starting to cry a little bit, completely silently and hiding her face against his chest still, the only evidence in the slight shake of her shoulders and the tightness of her voice. ] I missed you.

[ He is one hundred percent okay with that, okay, he's not going to say a word about it, because he might actually want to do the same thing, but there's only one hero-type person around here allowed to have a nervous breakdown at a time, and right now she has the dubious honors. He just holds her close, tight but not restrictive, at least in as much as both are possible at the same time, and waits for the vehicle to finish landing. ] Missed you too.

[ He starts a fairly steady and low - just for her - stream of words just before he shifts to get up with her, and keeps it up while he goes inside. It serves the dual purpose of meaning he doesn't have the time to stop and chat with anyone else, and hopefully giving her something to concentrate on that doesn't actually require her concentration; he's just providing a small measure of distraction while he moves her again. It's nothing in particular, more or less the sort of things he was saying earlier, mixed with reassurances here and there, because that just seems like a thing to do. He's calmed Pepper down several times over the years - abating nerves and the like is actually something he knows how to do. He knows how to do most things when he puts his mind to them. ]

I forget - bed? Can I just check you for internal bleeding? I'm pretty sure I promised bed, but I - all I could check were external injuries, and I don't need you, you know, having something I couldn't see after you got all the way here. [ It's not bordering on plaintive at all, okay. This is just something that needs to be done. Please, Max. ] Then you can have bed. Or, ice cream, whatever you want.

[ He can do the same thing if he wants, he really can. She won't mind at all. It might actually make her feel slightly less stupid for it. It might be good for them to both just cry for a little while. The whole event has been pretty traumatic for them both, really. She thinks maybe they both just need to lie in a bed together and cry for a while, but for right now she'll take his arms around her and his voice low and soothing, the returned reassurance of his emotion. It's okay. It's okay now, because she's back and everything's going to be fine now.

The stream of words is pretty much exactly the right thing, her humming in agreement occasionally into his shirt as she seeks to just stay buried as close against him as she can get. She only moves when he asks her an actual question, just enough to look up at him. ] Whatever you want. [ Yeah, she's being pretty complacent here, but. ]

I don't care. Just don't go. Stay and you can do whatever you want.

[ Well, maybe after the adrenaline has subsided and the entirety of the protective instincts have worn off. There's likely to be a void there anyway that will beg to be filled - right now he still has a job to do.

The sheer amount of complacency there does give him pause for a moment, but he continues on without too much noticeable delay. ] Thanks. [ And okay, maybe he holds her a little tighter in return too, a little higher on his chest, because fuck, if she's okay with just agreeing to whatever he wants to do - they have a lot of trust here obviously, but he's thinking of what it would take to get him to just give her free reign like that, and even with trust and their relationship freestanding it isn't that cheap a decision. ] I'm seriously - honest, I'm not going anywhere. I might have to put you down for a minute, but I'm not leaving. I'm going to stay as close as you want as soon as I make sure you're not actually dying, okay? [ hah hah right no ] It'll be fast.

[ Just so long as he doesn't like, go away and do the crying somewhere else, because he's not allowed to go anywhere that's not near her for a little bit here. That part is really important.

She takes the shift in the security of his arms without comment, presses a hand over the reactor again because she needs it there even over his shirt. The thing is, whatever he wants to do with her, to her, whatever - she couldn't stop anything right now. She knows that quite thoroughly by now, knows that in her current state fighting back is a useless exercise, just futility on top of futility. She did it anyways, of course. When doesn't she?

With him, is the answer. Tony won't hurt her. He's the only person she can trust not to hurt her, if it's really him, and if it's not him then she doesn't think she actually cares anymore about anything. So he gets absolute full rein right now, and she just nods. ] Okay. Sure. I'm not dying, I promise. [ She curls her hand around her neck. ] They wouldn't let me. But I know stuff needs fixing. That's okay.

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i don't know why people invite tony to ramble he's very good at it

yes she loves it when he does

that seems odd

but it's his voice and that means he's there

you know a lot of people are annoyed when he walks into a ROOM

yes but they are idiots

many would argue so is he

no he is fantastic

what

that sentence seemed fairly clear to me man

nope

he is super great is that clearer

ya sure ok

that doesn't sound very clear

weren't you the one who was supposed to be being clear?

i was super clear but then you weren't

not my job

but that means i have to do all the clarity that seems hard