[ She's pretty sure that the actual issues behind that are going to someday require more time than she has right now, and it's a tangent from what she started this out wanting to know. She catalogues that information though, quite carefully, leans in close enough that he can feel the warmth from her skin, lips against the skin of his stomach as she speaks. ]
One more question. If you answer it and ask well enough you can come. [ Everything about her movement terribly deliberate right now. ] Do you believe that I will always come find you?
[ Oh, jesus. Not like there's any pressure involved with that or anything.
It's probably a good thing she put that particular restriction on his reply though, because it's one thing to trust someone first without realizing it, another to actually know that you do trust them to the extent that you do - and that revelation is a little strange in and of itself, and accompanied by no small amount of additional inner probing. It's something entirely different, for some reason, to admit to that person that you do, for some reason, in fact trust them to a degree that's more or less simply implicit. It feels almost as baring as anything else he's told her so far, and he squirms with the directness of it just as much as with the warmth of her breath and motion of her hand. She's so controlled though, so deliberate, and there's not a whole lot he can do to escape the focus she's put him under that doesn't consist of giving her what she's asking for.
Which, of course, in and of itself makes him less willing to give it to her. He holds out stubbornly for a little while, the answer he's going to give fairly obvious but one he's still - for some reason - ill prepared to provide. Eventually, of course, the pressure both physically and otherwise provide an admirable incentive. As per the norm - because he's a genius but obstinance requires he be somewhat slow on the learning curve for some issues - his answer hovers around the grey wiggle room associated with what she was actually asking, although this time it's closer than his previous ones have been. ] You always have, you haven't left me so far, all of my shit and whatever shit you still have, I don't think you'll leave me anywhere, please. Can I please, now?
[ He can't escape this focus, not without answering the question. It's specific for a reason, oriented at a specific goal. She knows he trusts her. She knows a lot of things in regards to him, but she wants to drive this one particular point home right now, wants him to understand after everything he's said to her, all the times people have failed him and all the ways he's been left to fend for himself over and over again - she needs him to know that is never going to happen again. She is fairly certain he does believe it, but she wants him to say it out loud, acknowledge to himself that he believes it. If he doesn't believe it that's another matter entirely, but she's pretty sure this is just a matter of him having difficulty actually saying it.
It happens a lot, and it's something she understands, but nevertheless she's waiting out for the answer. This is something he's going to be able to acknowledge that he believes because she needs him to say it out loud, for him and for her. There's a long pause after his answer as she considers it, determines whether it fits what she asked from him.
And then she speeds up her pace a little, just calculated enough, presses closer against him and gives herself enough leverage with the chair that she can press her mouth against his neck and his pulse. ] I will never leave you anywhere. You can come.
[ Yes, well. It's most of those things that she's trying to contradict that are causing the synapse misfire in the first place. More than simply being difficult to accept that she'll be there every time, is the corollary that he won't be by himself. It seems obvious, and the two are highly intertwined, sure, but there's still a world of difference between them. At least, the way he's looking at it.
It's a good thing she has so much patience and faith. He is himself frequently ill-possessed of either, although for her that frequency tends to alter. He'd be willing to bet that the same goes for her as well.
He's not totally sure whether he was expecting her to accept that answer or make him elaborate for specifics, it wasn't really something he was thinking about anymore by the time he actually got to speaking, but he groans with the increase in speed, the way she gets closer to him and speaks against his skin. It's positive reinforcement of the most basic kind, and he doesn't even care at all, not when it comes with such physical, even emotional release. It doesn't take long at all, just a number of seconds maybe, before he goes even more taut, arms and torso and body flexing and tightening as she finally brings him to the edge and pushes him over it. He doesn't have any sort of stability or traction, nothing to help him stay close to her except her hand and his own lack of counter-movement.
Which is totally fine, he's okay with that, and after a little while, he loosens back up again, albeit somewhat slowly, starting to just hang in place as he was. ]
[ Most of her faith is only in relation to him. She doesn't have a great deal of faith in anything else at all, though her patience is permanent. Just easier to apply to him, because everything with him is easier at least a little bit.
She stays rock steady against him as he comes, free hand sliding over his back as she takes it all in, slowly tapers off the movement of her hand before she steps away completely so that she can lower him down enough that he's standing on his own two feet, carefully and a hand steadying him before she lets his arms down completely and steps back towards him again. ] Good. [ Just one word of approval before she starts to uncuff his hands.
She still doesn't know what there is about him that makes it so satisfying for her to have gotten him to do things for her that he wouldn't do for other people, why it feels so good to have him at her will. But there's something warm and satisfied in her motions, in the way she leans in to press her lips to his once his hands are free, making no move to remove the blindfold yet though she's rubbing his wrists carefully, making sure circulation is all right. ]
[ It's also probably easier to leave that whole 'you're basically the only thing i have faith in' thing as an unspoken understanding.
That's a nice hand, that steadying one, because he's not all that steady just yet. Not for a few moments, anyway. That was kind of a lot, and he still can't see, and he doubts he could really be blamed for not immediately being steady even if that were something he was actively considering anyway. But he tries to stretch his shoulders a little bit while she uncuffs him, leans back towards her when she's closer, into the kiss when it comes as well. He's calm right now, in the way that only very specific circumstances will elicit from him, and he's okay with just sort of chilling out for a while. His hands are kind of cold from being above him for so long anyway, and what she's doing feels nice.
More than that, the simple praise though. All of everything just wrapped up in that single 'Good.' He's pleased with that, with the way that she feels right now against his body and mind. She's pleased, and for whatever reason, that's all that he wants right now. ]
[ Yeah she's not saying that bit out loud. Possibly ever. She doesn't really feel like it anytime soon that's for sure.
She keeps rubbing his hands, trying to make sure that they get warm again as she presses against his mouth, deepens the kiss before pulling away and running her hands over all of his chest and shoulders, checking for anything and everything before she lifts them up to pull off the blindfold and smile at him slow and pleased. ]
What do you need? [ Soft and quiet as she takes him in, scanning to make sure that he's all right. As much as she loves watching him fall apart, loves the moments he asks and the tremble in his voice when he needs and only she can give it to him, that he is put back together afterwards is just as important. She will keep him safe however she can, in whatever way is possible, and if those ways can seem somewhat contradictory then that's just how life goes. ]
[ There's just a small shiver with her hands running everywhere like that, a little bit of goosebumping over his chest and down his arms before it fades out. He blinks a few times against the light when she removes the blindfold, looks a little squinty and very tired but okay, and he smiles back - not broad, but comfortable and easy. He closes his eyes again for a few moments, long enough to take in a deep breath and let it back out, and then slides them back open, glancing around the room a little bit just to set his bearings properly. ]
Oh, this room. [ And a quick glance up to the light. ] Good choice. [ Aaaaaand back to her. ] What? I don't - Uhm. I don't know. Water?
[ She's never going to not like his smile, not find it really pleasant to have directed at her, particularly in scenarios like this where she wasn't entirely sure how he'd feel afterwards. ] Yeah, this room.
[ A quirk to her lips and she tugs at his hands, steps forwards towards the door in an attempt to get him that way. ] We'll get you water, then. And clothes, I figure those are useful.
[ He lets her tug him towards the door, because right now he's just still in a very pliable mood. If she asked him to kneel in the middle of whatever room she's walking them to, he probably would, before asking questions, as opposed to the other way around. It's a weird state to be in, not one that he finds himself in very often, but he's content to let her continue calling the shots until it faces back out. ]
[ She likes him in a pliable mood, and while at the moment she's not really calling shots so much as just making sure he's okay she really wouldn't mind continuing to call them either. So long as he's definitely all right, that's fine by her. ]
They can. [ She's still moving with him back to the bedroom, but she skips his clothes still on the floor and just backs him towards the bed. ] Why? Not full up on attention quite yet, Tony?
[ He lets her keep moving him as she wants, feels his heels and knees and such run against the side of the bed, but his attention is basically all on her right now. Clothes are great, but honestly sometimes they do get in the way. THey get caught on stuff, you can get stuck in them, they can be a bitch to get off in a hurry when you really need them off in a hurry. There's lots of reasons. He may or may not be about to elucidate some of them, but she says that second thing and right now he doesn't connect the two very well. ] What? Why, do you have more?
Maybe. [ He can totally feel free to elucidate on some of those reasons, because she's going to overbalance him onto the bed and stay standing herself, start to pull her own shirt off. Clothes are in fact a pain to get off when you actually really want them off, it's irritating. She's suddenly quite invested in having hers off and his still off. ]
[ He's rather more interested in watching her remove her own clothing. He overbalanced about as well as anyone can be expected to, and then shifted a little bit to be more comfortable, propping himself up on his elbows to watch whatever it is that Max is gearing up for. It's only after a good few seconds have passed that he thinks to ask: ] Do you want help with that?
[ She peeled out of her shirt pretty quickly, but as soon as she realized he was paying attention to her her motions slowed down, leaving her bra on as she works the buttons on her pants loose. She grins at him, pushes her pants down a little bit and then lets her hands stop moving completely as she answers. ] Do you want to?
[ He sits up a little more fully, moves to get his legs a little bit beneath him so he can get to his knees to reach her. ] Please? [ And he hasn't reached out yet towards her but it's kind of obvious he'd like to. ]
[ He sets to task basically exactly like one would expect him to, very careful and exact movements and his eyes on everything that he's doing, focusing entirely on her. Up on his knees on the bed, the bra is easy to attend to, with the clasp taken care of by one hand reaching around behind her, and then both hands gently pulling the straps down her arms until it falls to the floor. After that, he sits back on his heels a little bit, pushing down on her pants and underwear from where she had stopped doing so herself, until such as gravity took a hold of them and finished the rest of the job. ]
[ There's a small wave of ghostbumps across her arms when his hands slide down them, her smile quiet and pleased with his touch. She steps out of her pants and underwear once he's finished, watching him with intent dark eyes as she puts a knee up on the edge of the bed and leans in to kiss him, one hand resting on his thigh. ]
[ He appreciates those, likes to see the ways that he can influence her in return, because his own skin is still buzzing and he's numb and over-alert in several ways all at once, and right now it's just easier to focus on her entirely than try to sort out his own thoughts. It's weird, still, and probably never won't be, but it's not something he particularly has an issue with.
And technically he's sort of exhausted after everything they've just done - physically for obvious reasons, emotionally for ones that are even more so - but he still comes up a little bit to meet her, lets one hand slide up into her hair from the base of her neck. There's a lot of shit that just got stirred up, and in a little while he'll probably care a little bit more about it, but right now, again, not so much. Either way, it benefits him to have her nearby, although it's not like that's anything new. ]
[ He is so exhausted right now, and she has no intentions of actually trying to have sex with him right now but he's quite pliant and she likes him touching her so this right here and now is a good feeling, even if it's unlikely to lead anywhere. She leans down to his lean up, tugs a little bit against the hand in her hair because yes good, that feels excellent.
Her hands right now are very gentle on him, gently smoothing across his skin. She wants to take care of him, mostly. That's a lot of what she always wants to do. ]
[ Well if they drag it out long enough then maybe they could have super lazy seconds. But yeah, as it is, this is just her being nice to him, really.
He's not sure about whether her hands are just feeling his skin, the warmth and texture of it, or asking him to move somewhere, and he breaks the kiss - now both hands on her, the one in her hair and the other just reaching up to cup the side of her cheek - just enough to ask, lips still against hers because he doesn't want to pull away any more than he has to: ] What do you want me to do?
[ Well, it's her being nice to herself as well, because she's been really wanting to at least kiss him for a while here and now she gets to. She gets more than that, she gets his hands on her and that's really quite nice, she enjoys that feeling, presses back into the kiss as soon as he's done talking before pulling back enough to respond. ]
Stay with me. [ Pushing him a little back on the bed. ] Lie down, you don't need to tire your legs out more.
[ It's okay, she's following him almost immediately, kissing him again in brief little snatches as she talks, hands running across his arms. ] If you're sure. [ Which she doesn't actually believe, but he might not feel the tiredness quite yet and she's not saying no to this at all. ]
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One more question. If you answer it and ask well enough you can come. [ Everything about her movement terribly deliberate right now. ] Do you believe that I will always come find you?
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It's probably a good thing she put that particular restriction on his reply though, because it's one thing to trust someone first without realizing it, another to actually know that you do trust them to the extent that you do - and that revelation is a little strange in and of itself, and accompanied by no small amount of additional inner probing. It's something entirely different, for some reason, to admit to that person that you do, for some reason, in fact trust them to a degree that's more or less simply implicit. It feels almost as baring as anything else he's told her so far, and he squirms with the directness of it just as much as with the warmth of her breath and motion of her hand. She's so controlled though, so deliberate, and there's not a whole lot he can do to escape the focus she's put him under that doesn't consist of giving her what she's asking for.
Which, of course, in and of itself makes him less willing to give it to her. He holds out stubbornly for a little while, the answer he's going to give fairly obvious but one he's still - for some reason - ill prepared to provide. Eventually, of course, the pressure both physically and otherwise provide an admirable incentive. As per the norm - because he's a genius but obstinance requires he be somewhat slow on the learning curve for some issues - his answer hovers around the grey wiggle room associated with what she was actually asking, although this time it's closer than his previous ones have been. ] You always have, you haven't left me so far, all of my shit and whatever shit you still have, I don't think you'll leave me anywhere, please. Can I please, now?
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It happens a lot, and it's something she understands, but nevertheless she's waiting out for the answer. This is something he's going to be able to acknowledge that he believes because she needs him to say it out loud, for him and for her. There's a long pause after his answer as she considers it, determines whether it fits what she asked from him.
And then she speeds up her pace a little, just calculated enough, presses closer against him and gives herself enough leverage with the chair that she can press her mouth against his neck and his pulse. ] I will never leave you anywhere. You can come.
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It's a good thing she has so much patience and faith. He is himself frequently ill-possessed of either, although for her that frequency tends to alter. He'd be willing to bet that the same goes for her as well.
He's not totally sure whether he was expecting her to accept that answer or make him elaborate for specifics, it wasn't really something he was thinking about anymore by the time he actually got to speaking, but he groans with the increase in speed, the way she gets closer to him and speaks against his skin. It's positive reinforcement of the most basic kind, and he doesn't even care at all, not when it comes with such physical, even emotional release. It doesn't take long at all, just a number of seconds maybe, before he goes even more taut, arms and torso and body flexing and tightening as she finally brings him to the edge and pushes him over it. He doesn't have any sort of stability or traction, nothing to help him stay close to her except her hand and his own lack of counter-movement.
Which is totally fine, he's okay with that, and after a little while, he loosens back up again, albeit somewhat slowly, starting to just hang in place as he was. ]
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She stays rock steady against him as he comes, free hand sliding over his back as she takes it all in, slowly tapers off the movement of her hand before she steps away completely so that she can lower him down enough that he's standing on his own two feet, carefully and a hand steadying him before she lets his arms down completely and steps back towards him again. ] Good. [ Just one word of approval before she starts to uncuff his hands.
She still doesn't know what there is about him that makes it so satisfying for her to have gotten him to do things for her that he wouldn't do for other people, why it feels so good to have him at her will. But there's something warm and satisfied in her motions, in the way she leans in to press her lips to his once his hands are free, making no move to remove the blindfold yet though she's rubbing his wrists carefully, making sure circulation is all right. ]
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That's a nice hand, that steadying one, because he's not all that steady just yet. Not for a few moments, anyway. That was kind of a lot, and he still can't see, and he doubts he could really be blamed for not immediately being steady even if that were something he was actively considering anyway. But he tries to stretch his shoulders a little bit while she uncuffs him, leans back towards her when she's closer, into the kiss when it comes as well. He's calm right now, in the way that only very specific circumstances will elicit from him, and he's okay with just sort of chilling out for a while. His hands are kind of cold from being above him for so long anyway, and what she's doing feels nice.
More than that, the simple praise though. All of everything just wrapped up in that single 'Good.' He's pleased with that, with the way that she feels right now against his body and mind. She's pleased, and for whatever reason, that's all that he wants right now. ]
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She keeps rubbing his hands, trying to make sure that they get warm again as she presses against his mouth, deepens the kiss before pulling away and running her hands over all of his chest and shoulders, checking for anything and everything before she lifts them up to pull off the blindfold and smile at him slow and pleased. ]
What do you need? [ Soft and quiet as she takes him in, scanning to make sure that he's all right. As much as she loves watching him fall apart, loves the moments he asks and the tremble in his voice when he needs and only she can give it to him, that he is put back together afterwards is just as important. She will keep him safe however she can, in whatever way is possible, and if those ways can seem somewhat contradictory then that's just how life goes. ]
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Oh, this room. [ And a quick glance up to the light. ] Good choice. [ Aaaaaand back to her. ] What? I don't - Uhm. I don't know. Water?
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[ A quirk to her lips and she tugs at his hands, steps forwards towards the door in an attempt to get him that way. ] We'll get you water, then. And clothes, I figure those are useful.
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Sometimes they just get in the way though.
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They can. [ She's still moving with him back to the bedroom, but she skips his clothes still on the floor and just backs him towards the bed. ] Why? Not full up on attention quite yet, Tony?
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And technically he's sort of exhausted after everything they've just done - physically for obvious reasons, emotionally for ones that are even more so - but he still comes up a little bit to meet her, lets one hand slide up into her hair from the base of her neck. There's a lot of shit that just got stirred up, and in a little while he'll probably care a little bit more about it, but right now, again, not so much. Either way, it benefits him to have her nearby, although it's not like that's anything new. ]
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Her hands right now are very gentle on him, gently smoothing across his skin. She wants to take care of him, mostly. That's a lot of what she always wants to do. ]
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He's not sure about whether her hands are just feeling his skin, the warmth and texture of it, or asking him to move somewhere, and he breaks the kiss - now both hands on her, the one in her hair and the other just reaching up to cup the side of her cheek - just enough to ask, lips still against hers because he doesn't want to pull away any more than he has to: ] What do you want me to do?
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Stay with me. [ Pushing him a little back on the bed. ] Lie down, you don't need to tire your legs out more.
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remaining where he is now what even past self
it's okay i got it
thank you among the reasons i love you
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