[ Aww. That's sweet. He gets complimented quite a lot by the media and the world at large, but it's still kind of ... completely different when people close to him think the same thing. You'd think it would mean less, or the same, but. Not that he's paying that much attention to what she's watching anyway. Or why she's doing it.
Also he is showing you - he's working on it right here in front of you. ] There's a gap here, in the writing. You can juke your way in, but if you just patch it up, stop-gap or whathaveyou, then it blocks these - because they carry a similar identification patt-, no, because they have a very dissimilar ID to these, similar to something else - from accessing it. Causes problems for other centers on the ground, in the ship, wherever, when some of your super secret spy secrets are secret even from your spies. I think they start to break out or something if they're not within at least six square miles of a national secret. Whatever. It would be easier to just rewrite the software from the ground up, solve the query register issue, but they seem to have this notion that I'd cater to myself somehow in the process. I don't see how I could make it easier on myself to get in than it already is, but that's apparently not my problem.
[ So okay maybe asking him to share is occasionally somewhat dangerous but hey, at least he actually shared, even if it was basically everything he was thinking on the surface all at once. And he hasn't stopped working. Pointed out a couple of things here and there, but he's got to figure out a way to isolate the issue at the heart of the problem and then reconstruct around it, and piggy-backing on someone else's basement is annoying at best. ]
[ She'd like him a hell of a lot less if he wasn't so intelligent, that's for sure. Which sounds mean, but it's just that she requires someone capable of keeping up with her brain, which is quite a good one as a general rule, and someone who can not only keep up with but outstrip her is something she finds fascinating and pretty great.
Yeah but she wanted an explanation too. Mostly she just wanted to listen to him talk, really, that's mostly what she wanted. Listening to him talk is soothing even when she's not just casually using all of her senses, making sure that she can still hear and feel and see. So she listens, hooks her legs up so that they're draped across his and she can sit closer more easily, even smiles just a little bit at the irritation in his voice. ] They could always hire me to rebuild it. [ Look she's telling a joke! She may not be doing super hot but she is definitely doing a little better here with him, right now. ]
[ It's okay, he's used to people wanting him for his things. No really. It's fine.
I jest. He'd still be pleased you like his brain, even if everybody likes his brain. He's smarter than everybody, basically. Like all the time.
It's just so hard not to be sarcastic/an asshole sometimes I'm having fun.
Anyway, he doesn't mind rambling at her a little bit - or a lot - because he gets that whole 'need to talk, or need to hear words' thing, even if he typically clearly comes down on the former and he doesn't actually know that's what she's doing right now. Either way. He pauses for a moment in his work while she shifts and makes herself more comfortable, then rests the tablet against the side of her leg - he was using his knee before, but this is closer now - and keeps going. She's welcome to sit more-or-less in his lap, or just on like, that half of his body, if she feels like it. ] Somehow I feel like they'd appreciate that offer even less than mine. No offense. Although it is kind of insulting they probably do trust us about the same. No offense.
[ You do enjoy your sarcasm it's okay I'm well used to it. Also hey it is just an important component of the entire relationship. By no means is it the only thing she likes him for.
She used to be a quite talkative person, but these days conversation requires effort with most people so her default is silence, or listening to others. With him she comes to the closest to talkative she ever is, but right now that's far too much effort required to do more than the minimal. ] If you have to add no offense. [ Leaving him to fill in that particular blank, but she still looks amused as she tucks her head under his chin, smooths a hand across the shoulder she's not holding onto. ] I don't know, I think I'm exceptionally trustworthy.
He lets her settle, fully focused on the problem he's trying to work around. He doesn't really care what she does with him unless she starts doing some highly specific things, and even then, with some of those, he doesn't care either. But right now his focus is on the tablet, on what he's working on, because it's frustrating and he is annoyed that the easiest - the best - solution he's found, is being denied simply because they don't trust the man giving it to them. But oh now fixing the shit that's already there, that's okay. ] You're very trustworthy. In regards to a certain type of trust.
[ Good because she's basically just going to sit here half on him listening to his heartbeat and his voice and the way she can hear the extra vibration to his voice through his chest when her ear is right against it. He's warm. It's very comforting, she likes it. ] Only a certain kind?
Well.... Maybe. [ he'd argue that she's extremely trustworthy except when it came to herself, and perhaps also with things to do with her past. Other than that, totally trustworthy.
He's very warm. He tends to be, it's why people always seem to want to cuddle with him and he begs off because dear god it's hot, don't you feel that? God.
He also keeps working, shifting things here and there, and then flinging one up to replace one of JARVIS' screens - who needs the traffic report anyway - looks at it on a larger scale. And because his holograms are amazing, he can manipulate them from here. He's still trying to work out how to fix the issue to the point where no one will need to come behind him and 'oh please I can pick that in ten minutes.' Please. ]
[ That - well, that's actually very accurate. She is incredibly untrustworthy about those things in contrast to being very trustworthy about many other things.
He can just deal with the heat for right this moment, okay, he can turn up the AC if he wants or bring in fans but she needs him to just stay right here for a little bit. She'll make it up to him later if it's really too hot. Somehow. She can probably figure out a way. ]
Thank you. Much better. It's good to be a well rounded individual. [ Fingers patterning across his shoulder, constant re-reassurance that he is in fact definitely there, and she can touch him. And abruptly. ] You couldn't have predicted what they'd do.
[ Well he's okay right now, this isn't too hot, it's just sometimes it's too hot. Sometimes if he's just been doing stuff or they just did each other or if he's become hyper-aware of the reactor again, he doesn't particularly want cuddles or anything of the sort. But right now it's okay.
Even if that last statement does make him pause again. He probably should have figured they weren't exactly finished with the topic. It's a momentary blip, nothing too obvious, and then he smoothly continues working, albeit with slightly more apparent focus. ] I knew it wasn't going to be good.
[ Good, because it kind of has to be. She said so. Everyone knows what she says goes, right.
She's still processing. Slowly, quietly, mostly to herself, but she's almost never actually - done that before. Normally she just shoves it away and pretends there's no problem, but then normally she doesn't feel safe. ] Could have been. Giving ordinary people a chance against people who could kill them otherwise. I don't know. [ Talking into his shirt rather than to him, but talking at all is a good step forwards she thinks. ] I don't want you to feel guilty.
[ Well she sure tries to convince him of that, anyway. They have another thread going on atm I can say would more or less reliably cement that fact - she she says is right and he only occasionally has something legitimately contrary to say about it.
It's cool though; that's pretty much how he processes things anyway. Sort of. He tends to do things by himself, but in plateaus - a lot at once, and then nothing for a long time. No progress, no dealing, until all of a sudden he's over it and everything's fine again. Talking is apparently a good step, even if one he himself is not consistently convinced of. He's not totally sure how to say 'I feel guilty about everything' in a way that won't result in further conversation or emotions. ] That's usually the point, defending those who need it. Doesn't negate that those who don't typically use the result as a means to more power.
She just doesn't deal, as a general rule. Suppression and ignoring it has been her default stance for years. It's in part because she's buried everything so deeply that when it springs up she doesn't really know how to handle it. ] Just don't - I don't want you to feel guilty about me, ever.
[ He considers that statement for what it's worth, and then decides it's not something she needs to be worried about. ] Sure. You got it. No feeling guilty about Max ever. I can do that. Piece of piss.
[ That was both too quickly and and too certain to be anywhere remotely approaching the truth, like, that wasn't even trying. She's so unconvinced by that. She's so hideously unconvinced by that that she actually pushes herself upright off of him, still sprawled across him but now looking him in the eyes from quite close, her own intent. ] Tony.
[ He's very good at ignoring that specific kind of reaction from people. He's been getting that one since he was about seven on a vaguely consistent basis; moreso as an adult, but still. His features stay schooled, he's working on his tablet - the biggest giveaway is actually that he doesn't look up at her at all when she moves. ]
[ Yeah, well, she's not a big fan of being ignored when he's doing something she really doesn't like. And she can't add him feeling guilty about her on top of everything, that's just. That's too much. She brushes one hand against the underside of his chin, pushes a little upwards. Stop ignoring her. ] Hey. You're a terrible liar.
I'm not-... [ Still working. Shifting things from one place to the next until wow it's just ridiculous to not be ignoring her and he looks at her and slumps back and stops pretending all at once. ] Only when I have to be.
[ Yes, much better, thank you. She just watches him for a long moment, eyes serious and stern, and then she pushes upwards to press her lips to his forehead, settles back down and kisses him on the lips for a moment before she pulls back away and shakes her head at him in contradiction. ] A terrible liar. At least when it comes to me.
i meant to say either 'it's just ridiculous to not be looking' or 'ridiculous to be ignoring'
[ Yes, well. Better in her opinion. He's just momentarily not sure what to do with the calmness she's radiating and then there's like, calm kisses that aren't meant to go anywhere and he's still just sitting there like a four year old getting a nightmare taken care of. He's mildly mollified for reasons he doesn't quite immediately understand, and that's weird. ] You cheat at it, so I don't really think you're a great barometer.
[ There are lots of things about the ways they interact that feel weird, and yet they never learn to expect it. She hesitates a moment, and then casually strips her shirt off, gaze dropping for a moment. It's not really self consciousness, it's debate over a course of action. ] I want to show you something. [ Head back up, chin raised a little because she's not sure. Her mind she opens to him slowly, lets him into the parts of it that are currently functioning pretty well, just the surface of determination and care and love for him, no recrimination or blame mixed in at all. ] What do you see?
i figured you figured i just can't not correct my mistakes
[ Never learn to expect it is totally right, because that whole thing she just did was totally not a course of action he was expecting. Maybe the physical comfort thing, on a like, lower margin of possibility, just because that's occasionally the way they roll, even when the other person is what initially caused the problem - neither one of them has enough people in their lives that mean anything and are as immediately willing to be helpful in that manner to be immediately useful. And fuck it, sometimes the person who created the damage is the one who most needs to rectify it. So, yeah, he wasn't totally expecting the cuddlefest, but it's not like he was wholly unexpecting it either.
Stripping and more questions after he so deftly deflected, though. That's different. He's not sure what to be looking at for the moment, and contents himself with a glance to watch what she's doing - totally to watch what she's doing, and there's almost not even an ulterior motive right now, which is sort of hilarious and sort of not - and then he's back to scouring her face for hints. It's not easy to bypass what she's showing him - especially since she so recently made it clear that he shouldn't be bypassing thoughts like that - but he's genuinely still not sure what to do with them. Effectively, he accepts what she's letting him see, intellectually, but while he can entertain the thoughts, it's difficult to do much more than that immediately. ]
[ Touch becomes exponentially more important to her as soon as certain memories start being pushed up to the surface, becomes something that she not only wants but to a certain extent needs as proof that she's alive and safe. So yeah, even if it might not have been obvious why to him, the cuddlefest was pretty much inevitable. This is - something else entirely. She meets his gaze evenly, biting her lip, and then reaches for one of his hands, reaches up and places it over her abdomen and the double bullet hole scars that lie there, imprinted into her skin. ]
I was clinically dead for some four minutes from these. Blood loss. I was lucky someone who could heal was on scene. .40 Smith and Wesson, mostly commonly sold to law enforcement. [ She lets go of his hand, lets her own drop. ] Cigarettes are just a way to get nicotine. Kitchen knives are for cutting up meat. Pliars are just a convenient way to get a better grip on a recalcitrant piece of equipment.
[ Her eyes drop, but her back stays straight as she breathes in and out very slowly and steadily. ] Sometimes things just get in the wrong hands, Tony.
It's kind of difficult to keep the well fuck off his face, so he contents himself with just keeping his eyes dropped, tracing over what she's put his hand on as she lists things he'd really rather be more happy not even thinking about. He's followed the patterns of scarring on her skin before, traced over the lines that make up her particular snowflake and categorized and placed things that he knew could create those precise markings, how hot something would have needed to be to scar just so, how sharp or blunt depending on the edges. But that's different. He can accurately consider things all he wants - being directly fed the information from memory is a cementing he doesn't consider particularly necessary. (He understands why she's done it, he just doesn't have to like the information to understand it.) So, yeah. Somewhat studiously and pointedly looking down for the moment. He's quieter when he does finally reply again. ]
I get it. I'll hold back on most of the self-flagellation. Can't promise everything. It's not the first time anyway.
[ She closes her eyes for a moment under the touch of his hand, sighs out and brushes her hand over his again. It's strange, how his hand takes a lot of the sting out. The memory isn't pleasant, still, but it's much more distant now, far away and removed. But she understands why he looks that way, isn't completely comfortable with everything she just said but still it needed to be said. ]
I know it isn't. [ She brushes her thumb under his chin, pushes upwards a little bit. ] But you don't need to ever feel guilty for me. [ Meeting his eyes as well as she can. ] And I owe it to you that I'm okay enough to talk about it, right now.
[ He'll let her maneuver his head easily enough but he's just sort of casually going to not look her in the eyes for a little while anyway. It's nothing personal, he just knows he can give a lot away like that and he's still feeling defensive, even if the guilt is something he's at least attempting to work on.
Well, okay, he'll glance up at her once or twice but it's nothing steady, okay. She clearly wants to make eye contact so whatever, he can do that at least a little bit. ] Okay. Cool. Me and whatever medic was nearby, right? I mean, I don't want to take all the credit.
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Also he is showing you - he's working on it right here in front of you. ] There's a gap here, in the writing. You can juke your way in, but if you just patch it up, stop-gap or whathaveyou, then it blocks these - because they carry a similar identification patt-, no, because they have a very dissimilar ID to these, similar to something else - from accessing it. Causes problems for other centers on the ground, in the ship, wherever, when some of your super secret spy secrets are secret even from your spies. I think they start to break out or something if they're not within at least six square miles of a national secret. Whatever. It would be easier to just rewrite the software from the ground up, solve the query register issue, but they seem to have this notion that I'd cater to myself somehow in the process. I don't see how I could make it easier on myself to get in than it already is, but that's apparently not my problem.
[ So okay maybe asking him to share is occasionally somewhat dangerous but hey, at least he actually shared, even if it was basically everything he was thinking on the surface all at once. And he hasn't stopped working. Pointed out a couple of things here and there, but he's got to figure out a way to isolate the issue at the heart of the problem and then reconstruct around it, and piggy-backing on someone else's basement is annoying at best. ]
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Yeah but she wanted an explanation too. Mostly she just wanted to listen to him talk, really, that's mostly what she wanted. Listening to him talk is soothing even when she's not just casually using all of her senses, making sure that she can still hear and feel and see. So she listens, hooks her legs up so that they're draped across his and she can sit closer more easily, even smiles just a little bit at the irritation in his voice. ] They could always hire me to rebuild it. [ Look she's telling a joke! She may not be doing super hot but she is definitely doing a little better here with him, right now. ]
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I jest. He'd still be pleased you like his brain, even if everybody likes his brain. He's smarter than everybody, basically. Like all the time.
It's just so hard not to be sarcastic/an asshole sometimes I'm having fun.
Anyway, he doesn't mind rambling at her a little bit - or a lot - because he gets that whole 'need to talk, or need to hear words' thing, even if he typically clearly comes down on the former and he doesn't actually know that's what she's doing right now. Either way. He pauses for a moment in his work while she shifts and makes herself more comfortable, then rests the tablet against the side of her leg - he was using his knee before, but this is closer now - and keeps going. She's welcome to sit more-or-less in his lap, or just on like, that half of his body, if she feels like it. ] Somehow I feel like they'd appreciate that offer even less than mine. No offense. Although it is kind of insulting they probably do trust us about the same. No offense.
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She used to be a quite talkative person, but these days conversation requires effort with most people so her default is silence, or listening to others. With him she comes to the closest to talkative she ever is, but right now that's far too much effort required to do more than the minimal. ] If you have to add no offense. [ Leaving him to fill in that particular blank, but she still looks amused as she tucks her head under his chin, smooths a hand across the shoulder she's not holding onto. ] I don't know, I think I'm exceptionally trustworthy.
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He lets her settle, fully focused on the problem he's trying to work around. He doesn't really care what she does with him unless she starts doing some highly specific things, and even then, with some of those, he doesn't care either. But right now his focus is on the tablet, on what he's working on, because it's frustrating and he is annoyed that the easiest - the best - solution he's found, is being denied simply because they don't trust the man giving it to them. But oh now fixing the shit that's already there, that's okay. ] You're very trustworthy. In regards to a certain type of trust.
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He's very warm. He tends to be, it's why people always seem to want to cuddle with him and he begs off because dear god it's hot, don't you feel that? God.
He also keeps working, shifting things here and there, and then flinging one up to replace one of JARVIS' screens - who needs the traffic report anyway - looks at it on a larger scale. And because his holograms are amazing, he can manipulate them from here. He's still trying to work out how to fix the issue to the point where no one will need to come behind him and 'oh please I can pick that in ten minutes.' Please. ]
Lots of certain kinds.
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He can just deal with the heat for right this moment, okay, he can turn up the AC if he wants or bring in fans but she needs him to just stay right here for a little bit. She'll make it up to him later if it's really too hot. Somehow. She can probably figure out a way. ]
Thank you. Much better. It's good to be a well rounded individual. [ Fingers patterning across his shoulder, constant re-reassurance that he is in fact definitely there, and she can touch him. And abruptly. ] You couldn't have predicted what they'd do.
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Even if that last statement does make him pause again. He probably should have figured they weren't exactly finished with the topic. It's a momentary blip, nothing too obvious, and then he smoothly continues working, albeit with slightly more apparent focus. ] I knew it wasn't going to be good.
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She's still processing. Slowly, quietly, mostly to herself, but she's almost never actually - done that before. Normally she just shoves it away and pretends there's no problem, but then normally she doesn't feel safe. ] Could have been. Giving ordinary people a chance against people who could kill them otherwise. I don't know. [ Talking into his shirt rather than to him, but talking at all is a good step forwards she thinks. ] I don't want you to feel guilty.
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It's cool though; that's pretty much how he processes things anyway. Sort of. He tends to do things by himself, but in plateaus - a lot at once, and then nothing for a long time. No progress, no dealing, until all of a sudden he's over it and everything's fine again. Talking is apparently a good step, even if one he himself is not consistently convinced of. He's not totally sure how to say 'I feel guilty about everything' in a way that won't result in further conversation or emotions. ] That's usually the point, defending those who need it. Doesn't negate that those who don't typically use the result as a means to more power.
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She just doesn't deal, as a general rule. Suppression and ignoring it has been her default stance for years. It's in part because she's buried everything so deeply that when it springs up she doesn't really know how to handle it. ] Just don't - I don't want you to feel guilty about me, ever.
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Was it something I said?
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i meant to say either 'it's just ridiculous to not be looking' or 'ridiculous to be ignoring'
o7 that is what i figured
i figured you figured i just can't not correct my mistakes
Stripping and more questions after he so deftly deflected, though. That's different. He's not sure what to be looking at for the moment, and contents himself with a glance to watch what she's doing - totally to watch what she's doing, and there's almost not even an ulterior motive right now, which is sort of hilarious and sort of not - and then he's back to scouring her face for hints. It's not easy to bypass what she's showing him - especially since she so recently made it clear that he shouldn't be bypassing thoughts like that - but he's genuinely still not sure what to do with them. Effectively, he accepts what she's letting him see, intellectually, but while he can entertain the thoughts, it's difficult to do much more than that immediately. ]
A trick question? What am I supposed to see here?
i've got your back
I was clinically dead for some four minutes from these. Blood loss. I was lucky someone who could heal was on scene. .40 Smith and Wesson, mostly commonly sold to law enforcement. [ She lets go of his hand, lets her own drop. ] Cigarettes are just a way to get nicotine. Kitchen knives are for cutting up meat. Pliars are just a convenient way to get a better grip on a recalcitrant piece of equipment.
[ Her eyes drop, but her back stays straight as she breathes in and out very slowly and steadily. ] Sometimes things just get in the wrong hands, Tony.
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Fuck.
It's kind of difficult to keep the well fuck off his face, so he contents himself with just keeping his eyes dropped, tracing over what she's put his hand on as she lists things he'd really rather be more happy not even thinking about. He's followed the patterns of scarring on her skin before, traced over the lines that make up her particular snowflake and categorized and placed things that he knew could create those precise markings, how hot something would have needed to be to scar just so, how sharp or blunt depending on the edges. But that's different. He can accurately consider things all he wants - being directly fed the information from memory is a cementing he doesn't consider particularly necessary. (He understands why she's done it, he just doesn't have to like the information to understand it.) So, yeah. Somewhat studiously and pointedly looking down for the moment. He's quieter when he does finally reply again. ]
I get it. I'll hold back on most of the self-flagellation. Can't promise everything. It's not the first time anyway.
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I know it isn't. [ She brushes her thumb under his chin, pushes upwards a little bit. ] But you don't need to ever feel guilty for me. [ Meeting his eyes as well as she can. ] And I owe it to you that I'm okay enough to talk about it, right now.
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Well, okay, he'll glance up at her once or twice but it's nothing steady, okay. She clearly wants to make eye contact so whatever, he can do that at least a little bit. ] Okay. Cool. Me and whatever medic was nearby, right? I mean, I don't want to take all the credit.
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those keywords
accurate tho rite
far too accurate the things they have done for each other man
yolo
exactly
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i worked really hard to not laugh out loud at 'everyone loves a good infographic' again
good.
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