You realize you're not the only celebrity in the universe, right? What if I actually want to hear about how, uh. [ Wait she needs a celebrity's name. Shit. ] How Angelia Jolie's been doing while I was gone.

[ Success! And she genuinely just doesn't care what her hair looks like at the end of this, so long as a significant portion of it's gone. At least back to the length it was before she was taken. ] I won't say no to hearing more about you, though.