[ When he swallows this time it's because his throat is tight just as much from restraint as it is by anxiety, because, hey, opening up to people. That's some hard shit to do.
But, okay. A deep breath - a little shaky but there's a number of reasons for that right now - and here goes. Extremely short snapshots of the initial incident; Stane's sendoff, humvee explosion, rock-bottom table-top operation - flashes of emotion more than anything, to give her an overarching sense of it, because while he wants to mak--- no, he doesn't. He doesn't want to make it clear. Suddenly, he doesn't want to. They cut off, the emotion dampening with them almost immediately. He knows he's committed now, but that's still a level of sharing that's a little higher than he's willing to reach right now. Or maybe he just wants to make her irritated with him again, because that feels safer too - more so than all this understanding, anyway.
So, okay. Take two. After a few moments of pause and relatively nothing at all from him, he carefully tries again. Not that any of this has been particularly well-organized, he doesn't think in paths that most people would consider organized and he's left all of these memories to run and bleed into and onto each other as quickly as he can run away from them. So when I say that he shows her specifically just what he remembers of Stane removing the reactor, stumbling down to the shop, the blood in his ears and hole in his chest, I mean that it's coming to her disjointed, not all together, with comparative or contrasting images in between. Stane looming over, Obie clapping him on the back. The slow crawl of metal towards his heart, the blast that knocked him down and put it there. It's the feeling that's more important anyway, and that doesn't seem effected by the order the memories go in.
Abruptly, he decides that that's enough sharing, again, he'd much rather focus on the here and now, thank you, there's a reason time goes in the order that it does, and it's so that it's easier to deal with. All he can really do right now is nod, an attempt to not be too encouraging of this idea that sort of fails because yes, he does, a lot, right now. It's a fair amount of effort required to check the urge to thrust up and try to meet her properly. ]
i was about to run this by you and then you had to go to german class sooooo
But, okay. A deep breath - a little shaky but there's a number of reasons for that right now - and here goes. Extremely short snapshots of the initial incident; Stane's sendoff, humvee explosion, rock-bottom table-top operation - flashes of emotion more than anything, to give her an overarching sense of it, because while he wants to mak--- no, he doesn't. He doesn't want to make it clear. Suddenly, he doesn't want to. They cut off, the emotion dampening with them almost immediately. He knows he's committed now, but that's still a level of sharing that's a little higher than he's willing to reach right now. Or maybe he just wants to make her irritated with him again, because that feels safer too - more so than all this understanding, anyway.
So, okay. Take two. After a few moments of pause and relatively nothing at all from him, he carefully tries again. Not that any of this has been particularly well-organized, he doesn't think in paths that most people would consider organized and he's left all of these memories to run and bleed into and onto each other as quickly as he can run away from them. So when I say that he shows her specifically just what he remembers of Stane removing the reactor, stumbling down to the shop, the blood in his ears and hole in his chest, I mean that it's coming to her disjointed, not all together, with comparative or contrasting images in between. Stane looming over, Obie clapping him on the back. The slow crawl of metal towards his heart, the blast that knocked him down and put it there. It's the feeling that's more important anyway, and that doesn't seem effected by the order the memories go in.
Abruptly, he decides that that's enough sharing, again, he'd much rather focus on the here and now, thank you, there's a reason time goes in the order that it does, and it's so that it's easier to deal with. All he can really do right now is nod, an attempt to not be too encouraging of this idea that sort of fails because yes, he does, a lot, right now. It's a fair amount of effort required to check the urge to thrust up and try to meet her properly. ]