[ Not particularly something he wanted to show her, given that it requires at least the faintest hints of flashbacks even beyond that to fully grasp the meaning involved, but it's only the span of a few moments - sight, sound, and emotion - to understand the entire extent of the problems therein. To be honest, he attempted to go with the superficial reason - denial, teammates - but when you're sharing a motivation, a memory, it's hard to actually pick and choose what you're showing and hiding. Not when everything is this close to the surface and you're not the best at this sort of evasion anyway. He's put far too much effort into the verbal and facial versions; the emotional one barely has any work at all. It hasn't really been needed, until her, and even then there was quickly a level of security that meant it wasn't necessary.
Eye contact just makes him try to avoid it more, although he manages to hold it for all of about six entire seconds. Depending on where the gag has fallen, she might see the muscles in his jaw tighten, and after a few moments watching him it's kind of obvious he's working on sticking to that whole 'don't close your eyes' rule.
Which isn't helped by her firming, albeit for entirely different and much more obvious reasons. His breathing goes a little more uneven every time she gets closer to the head, although it's not as though it's all that even to begin with right now - there's too much emotional, physical, somewhat even mental stimulus going on. By this point, he's starting to tense all over, arms and chest first, and then down gradually from there. ]
oh btw i gave him a slightly more substantial secondary reason hope you don't mind
Eye contact just makes him try to avoid it more, although he manages to hold it for all of about six entire seconds. Depending on where the gag has fallen, she might see the muscles in his jaw tighten, and after a few moments watching him it's kind of obvious he's working on sticking to that whole 'don't close your eyes' rule.
Which isn't helped by her firming, albeit for entirely different and much more obvious reasons. His breathing goes a little more uneven every time she gets closer to the head, although it's not as though it's all that even to begin with right now - there's too much emotional, physical, somewhat even mental stimulus going on. By this point, he's starting to tense all over, arms and chest first, and then down gradually from there. ]