[ She's really sorry, but she can't actually stop herself from having something that would be a panic attack if she wasn't controlling herself so tightly upon seeing something like that. There's some things that will never not be hard for her, and that specific moment - that's one of them.

She doesn't answer at first, trying to figure out how to answer, if she even wants to answer. Abruptly she stands up, starts pacing around the table because she needs the motion even if it's not easy. She needs something to concentrate on, and she can't concentrate on him because she'll know even more concretely she's making things difficult on him and she doesn't want to do that at all. ]

There's just - nothing. You can't see, you can't hear, you can't feel anyone and I've always been able to feel people around me, there have always been people even when I didn't want them. I don't know what to do with nothing. Your mind eats itself. [ She stops as quickly as she started, turns and looks directly at him for the first time. ] I don't remember the other well. I was - I guess you could say I was gone then.