[ That's good, because he really doesn't want to feel anger right now, not from anyone. Not on his behalf, not towards him - he just doesn't want to handle it. Any sort of strong negative emotion he gets from her, and he's just going to start closing off again, because he already has plenty of those and what little amounts of ground he's giving her as it is, what tiny little footholds and handlebars he's allowing her to have as she pries him open bit by bit, are given because she seems calm, and together, and that's a kind of peace that right now - even if it's just peace by virtue of relativity - he really wants.
So far he's continued to toy with the bit of metal in his hands, glancing a little bit around the room - familiarity, being uneasy means looking in more than one place, and everything down here is nice and comfortable and ineffably his own. He hasn't moved very much beyond that though, and it's older things, oddly, that he seems to be lingering on more than anything else, if one were to even call his flitting glances 'lingering'. At her question, it's straight back down to his lap again. More quiet, for a while. When he starts to reply, it's... Fragmented. ]
I couldn't... With the water, it's a shock, being so cold, even though the, the cave is cold, and it's so hot outside, which -- it matches, since after a while, in and out, your chest burns, so it's all cold and hot at the same time again. Just. The wrong way around. [ He knows this isn't what she asked, and it's just a short pause before he continues. ] I don't like not breathing. You know, when your face is submerged in cold water, it's enough to trigger a whole survival instinct in all mammals? Your heart beats slower, and blood floods into your chest. It's supposed to help keep your lungs from collapsing under pressure from the rest of the water you should be in, but if you're not in the water and you've just had chest surgery it just - [ Well. ] It's worse than the v-fib. At least I wasn't conscious for some of that. But I don't like not breathing.
oh god yeah don't do that or i just look insane
So far he's continued to toy with the bit of metal in his hands, glancing a little bit around the room - familiarity, being uneasy means looking in more than one place, and everything down here is nice and comfortable and ineffably his own. He hasn't moved very much beyond that though, and it's older things, oddly, that he seems to be lingering on more than anything else, if one were to even call his flitting glances 'lingering'. At her question, it's straight back down to his lap again. More quiet, for a while. When he starts to reply, it's... Fragmented. ]
I couldn't... With the water, it's a shock, being so cold, even though the, the cave is cold, and it's so hot outside, which -- it matches, since after a while, in and out, your chest burns, so it's all cold and hot at the same time again. Just. The wrong way around. [ He knows this isn't what she asked, and it's just a short pause before he continues. ] I don't like not breathing. You know, when your face is submerged in cold water, it's enough to trigger a whole survival instinct in all mammals? Your heart beats slower, and blood floods into your chest. It's supposed to help keep your lungs from collapsing under pressure from the rest of the water you should be in, but if you're not in the water and you've just had chest surgery it just - [ Well. ] It's worse than the v-fib. At least I wasn't conscious for some of that. But I don't like not breathing.