I like learning new things. Shouldn't need them again, but they're interesting. [ Emotions complicate things so very very quickly. One night stands (hardly even that), those had been easy back when she was still okay enough with going out in public to do them. Because it was like a contract, basically, both parties agree to have sex and get each other off if possible, and when there wasn't any emotion attached that made it easier to keep empathy on the down low.
And then there's him. And she can't keep things shut down with him, which means she shows him things she doesn't always mean to show him. And to a certain extent, whether it's intended or not, being able to make her feel good is power over her, and the idea of showing him that scared her even if she felt sure he wouldn't ever use it against her. It becomes easier to consider over time, though. Ingrained fear pushed aside for trust, old worries built over with new memories. He'll get his day. She'll probably be quite pleased to have reached that trust too. ]
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And then there's him. And she can't keep things shut down with him, which means she shows him things she doesn't always mean to show him. And to a certain extent, whether it's intended or not, being able to make her feel good is power over her, and the idea of showing him that scared her even if she felt sure he wouldn't ever use it against her. It becomes easier to consider over time, though. Ingrained fear pushed aside for trust, old worries built over with new memories. He'll get his day. She'll probably be quite pleased to have reached that trust too. ]