Highly social is one way to explain it. [ She glances up at him, smiling. ] Bet you I could do it.
[ If, at any point in time, she has to fill out a 'things you hate most about living in a world with superheroes' list, number one on the list is going to be how you can just be walking down a street and find yourself caught up in some kind of battle or - what even is this? She's really not sure. Bank robbery gone wrong, whatever, she doesn't care, because there was screaming and then -
Well actually, she's not sure she remembers most of what happened in the past ten minutes. Which could be a result of someone hitting her kind of hard in the head from behind or could just be because adrenaline had whited out everything, fight or flight response and hers always had tipped towards fight.
There's someone lying very dead on the floor of the alleyway she's in, and the knife in her hand pretty much indicates it was her that made him that dead, especially since no one else is here at the moment. She's not really sure how she got in an alleyway. She'd been with Tony, they'd been in the street. She thinks they'd been laughing. Maybe the dead guy had tried taking her as a potential hostage and that's why they're in an alleyway, he'd been trying to get out of the area. She would have been standing still with the initial panic of the crowd flooding her, she would have been what looked like an easy target, especially if the crowd had managed to separate her from Tony.
Tony. Finding him, that's what's important, making sure he's okay, but her head is pounding and there's still panicked people everywhere pressing in on her mind. She thinks she's broadcasting, probably is, but she can't control it at all right now. And that's about when she looks down and remembers how she got the knife in her hand. There had been a gun first, knocked out of both of their reaches. But to get the knife she'd needed him close. Too close, and that's a lot of blood for a cut that has to be shallow, it's across the ribs it can't have gone too deep, just wide, wide and bleeding too much. She's going to stop thinking about this now. And she's going to get her mind under control, and bandage herself up, and find Tony, and things will be - just fine. ]
Well actually, she's not sure she remembers most of what happened in the past ten minutes. Which could be a result of someone hitting her kind of hard in the head from behind or could just be because adrenaline had whited out everything, fight or flight response and hers always had tipped towards fight.
There's someone lying very dead on the floor of the alleyway she's in, and the knife in her hand pretty much indicates it was her that made him that dead, especially since no one else is here at the moment. She's not really sure how she got in an alleyway. She'd been with Tony, they'd been in the street. She thinks they'd been laughing. Maybe the dead guy had tried taking her as a potential hostage and that's why they're in an alleyway, he'd been trying to get out of the area. She would have been standing still with the initial panic of the crowd flooding her, she would have been what looked like an easy target, especially if the crowd had managed to separate her from Tony.
Tony. Finding him, that's what's important, making sure he's okay, but her head is pounding and there's still panicked people everywhere pressing in on her mind. She thinks she's broadcasting, probably is, but she can't control it at all right now. And that's about when she looks down and remembers how she got the knife in her hand. There had been a gun first, knocked out of both of their reaches. But to get the knife she'd needed him close. Too close, and that's a lot of blood for a cut that has to be shallow, it's across the ribs it can't have gone too deep, just wide, wide and bleeding too much. She's going to stop thinking about this now. And she's going to get her mind under control, and bandage herself up, and find Tony, and things will be - just fine. ]
[ It was fast, when it happened, and he's pretty sure a bomb went off below then - the bank robbers, getting into the city underground - they'd never find them in time. Tony has the boots, the lighter pieces of the torso (no shielding, just there to link other armaments together) and a gauntlet. He can fly, a little, not much, so he's walking. Scanning for her, because he doesn't know how they got lost but he's terrified and full of nerves. How could he have lost his empath in a situation like this. How could he? But he's not talking; he's not asking other people if they know where this one random girl is, he's just looking for her... feeling. Her seity. It's so hard to find anything in all this noise, augh, these people, overwhelming him, too much sound, too much, and someone else, probably Natasha, who is receptive and can be helpful but only on her own terms, and those terms? Are blunt.
But he's been pushed into an alley to calm down, it's quieter here, and it only takes a few seconds to straighten back up, ready to keep looking, so he starts, turning to find Natasha and see if she wants to help, but ---
Oh, there she is. Right there. She's been right there. The kind of smile that comes from relief, a goofy, relieved smile, hits his faces and shines to hers.
He wastes little time, scrabbling over to her. ] Hey, found you first. You okay? What's this bleeding?
But he's been pushed into an alley to calm down, it's quieter here, and it only takes a few seconds to straighten back up, ready to keep looking, so he starts, turning to find Natasha and see if she wants to help, but ---
Oh, there she is. Right there. She's been right there. The kind of smile that comes from relief, a goofy, relieved smile, hits his faces and shines to hers.
He wastes little time, scrabbling over to her. ] Hey, found you first. You okay? What's this bleeding?
The other way would be saying that you have a very talented mouth. [ she can be oblique if she wants. ] I'm trained in not having any reason to talk, actually. And in stake-outs, I guess.
[ Her eyes are closed when he comes in, trying to find some way to ground herself, pulling in what shields she has as tightly as she can under the pressure, but they fly open at the first noise and she blinks rapidly, stares at him. Well that was easy. He's right there, after all. He hasn't been there the whole time, has he? She's fairly certainly he hasn't been.
She's just been standing there staring at him for a too-long moment now. He'd asked a question. ]
I got his knife. [ She holds it up to him, like an offering or an explanation, jerks her head at the dead guy. She'd meant to not kill again. ] I stopped carrying my own a month ago. Didn't think I'd need it.
[ Her other hand stays firmly pressed to her stomach, shirt pushed up to hopefully stop the blood flow. That would be good. Does she have a concussion? She probably has a concussion. She breathes out, winces against the continued onslaught of emotions from without and tries harder to close things off. ] You did find me first. You're good at finding me.
She's just been standing there staring at him for a too-long moment now. He'd asked a question. ]
I got his knife. [ She holds it up to him, like an offering or an explanation, jerks her head at the dead guy. She'd meant to not kill again. ] I stopped carrying my own a month ago. Didn't think I'd need it.
[ Her other hand stays firmly pressed to her stomach, shirt pushed up to hopefully stop the blood flow. That would be good. Does she have a concussion? She probably has a concussion. She breathes out, winces against the continued onslaught of emotions from without and tries harder to close things off. ] You did find me first. You're good at finding me.
I don't think I've actually had the chance yet to show you how talented my mouth can be. [ But see, that's the problem, not having a reason to talk. He's always got a reason to talk - there is always a reason behind why he's about to say something. Maybe thin, but still, a reason. ] So you're still having thoughts and stuff, you're just not finding reasons to voice them.
[ 'What's this bleeding', he says, and then puts another second or half of thought into it and realizes that she's what's bleeding. Instant ratchet in his senses, and now he's aware of anyone within a seventy-five yard radius, and that the blood is bright, bright red and smells of shock.
Tony watches her explanation, slowly appearing calmer, slowly adopting Iron Man mentality - which works, because he's wearing about half the skeleton of an Iron Man suit: effectively capable of flight, and enhanced strength. ]
Not like you to plan and hope for the worst. [ With a small grin, because. Hey. Situation. ] We've gotta stop that bleeding, okay? No hospitals?
Tony watches her explanation, slowly appearing calmer, slowly adopting Iron Man mentality - which works, because he's wearing about half the skeleton of an Iron Man suit: effectively capable of flight, and enhanced strength. ]
Not like you to plan and hope for the worst. [ With a small grin, because. Hey. Situation. ] We've gotta stop that bleeding, okay? No hospitals?
Given the talent you've showed with it so far, I'll look forward to it. [ which is, funnily enough, a sign of trust. she has weird trust markers sometimes. and while she says it's not having any reason to talk, it would be more accurate to say trained in having a lot of very good reasons not to talk. people's lives among them. though not used to having reasons to talk is another one of the reasons she's quiet. ] I have lots of thoughts, thanks. But I'm not used to having someone to tell them to. [ really there's just a lot of converging reasons she's not a super talkative person. around him is the closest she gets to it. ]
[ There is a fair amount of shock mixed in, both in the way she keeps thinking of inconsequential things to say and sometimes saying them, in the fact that she's still having to piece together what led to her being here. The knife drops after a moment. She doesn't need it anymore. She did her job (no, this wasn't like the old days, there wasn't anything about a job about it).
Thinking straight is kind of hard. He's got part of the suit on, when did that happen? ] Looks skeletal. [ Mumbled a little bit, frowning. It's not the suit, not quite. And he's asking a question. She blinks, considers it. Bleeding. Right, yes. ] No hospitals. [ That's the one part she's really clear on, right now. The part about stopping the bleeding she just skips right over. ] Did I really kill him? I was trying to stop killing people.
[ Really, more than anything it's the cognitive dissonance that's getting her right now. Tony's here. Tony is safety and comfort and happiness. Her killing people, the way she is completely aware of the rate at which her heart is pumping blood, that belongs in another place. It belongs in the past and far away from here and him and what they have. She swallows, keeps talking because if she doesn't stop talking she doesn't have to start thinking about things. ] We should go home. I think we should go home now.
Thinking straight is kind of hard. He's got part of the suit on, when did that happen? ] Looks skeletal. [ Mumbled a little bit, frowning. It's not the suit, not quite. And he's asking a question. She blinks, considers it. Bleeding. Right, yes. ] No hospitals. [ That's the one part she's really clear on, right now. The part about stopping the bleeding she just skips right over. ] Did I really kill him? I was trying to stop killing people.
[ Really, more than anything it's the cognitive dissonance that's getting her right now. Tony's here. Tony is safety and comfort and happiness. Her killing people, the way she is completely aware of the rate at which her heart is pumping blood, that belongs in another place. It belongs in the past and far away from here and him and what they have. She swallows, keeps talking because if she doesn't stop talking she doesn't have to start thinking about things. ] We should go home. I think we should go home now.
"...I think it's easy to see why I was so interested in it now." She admits, looking into his eyes. "I can feel it, a little. Whatever it is."
Energy is energy, after all.
"Maybe that's what drew me to you."
Energy is energy, after all.
"Maybe that's what drew me to you."
[ wait, the looking forward to it or the reason to talk thing. which one is the sign of trust.
he can probably be argued to having had both lessons in not talking and lessons in talking. it's all very conflicting. ] Hey I didn't say you didn't have thoughts, but I mean, some people can legitimately think about nothing. Or, not think about anything. If you're thinking about nothing technically that's a thought, that's just thinking about a void. Totally reasonable thing to think about. Lots of math involved. And potentially wormholes. Definitely black holes. [ what was all that about talking ]
he can probably be argued to having had both lessons in not talking and lessons in talking. it's all very conflicting. ] Hey I didn't say you didn't have thoughts, but I mean, some people can legitimately think about nothing. Or, not think about anything. If you're thinking about nothing technically that's a thought, that's just thinking about a void. Totally reasonable thing to think about. Lots of math involved. And potentially wormholes. Definitely black holes. [ what was all that about talking ]
We can pick up a box of doughnuts on the way home. [ To put on weight. To counter-act the skeletal. Or something, he's not paying attention to everything he's saying any more than she is. Well, no, probably a bit more than she is. But he's honestly paying more attention to her right now.
But hey, he'll glance over to the other guy. Normally he'd actually like, really check, but he doesn't want to get any further from her than he has to. So he'll turn and look. The guy looks dead, but. It's doubtful that she was like this before he got here, since she doesn't really seem in much a state to... Kill someone, so he's assuming she was, at the time, totally rational and stuff, and therefore the guy must have deserved it.
Not that that's going to be that helpful to say right now. So it's a short glance, and then attention back to her. ] Right now I'm more intent on making sure he doesn't kill you, okay, come on. We're just gonna walk a little bit, c'mon, this way. [ Angling between her and the guy, just a little, just to the end of the alley, right, not hard. Look he'll even be right next to you, so you don't fall or anything. ]
But hey, he'll glance over to the other guy. Normally he'd actually like, really check, but he doesn't want to get any further from her than he has to. So he'll turn and look. The guy looks dead, but. It's doubtful that she was like this before he got here, since she doesn't really seem in much a state to... Kill someone, so he's assuming she was, at the time, totally rational and stuff, and therefore the guy must have deserved it.
Not that that's going to be that helpful to say right now. So it's a short glance, and then attention back to her. ] Right now I'm more intent on making sure he doesn't kill you, okay, come on. We're just gonna walk a little bit, c'mon, this way. [ Angling between her and the guy, just a little, just to the end of the alley, right, not hard. Look he'll even be right next to you, so you don't fall or anything. ]
[ the looking forward to it sex is complicated and so are her feelings about it.
these sorts of things generally are. hers just all verged on 'no talking', which had been weird and hard at first because she was a talkative teenager and a talkative young adult and then she'd had to learn how to shut that down really fast. also wow that was seriously a lot of talking. ] I tried the thinking about nothing thing. Not a lot of fun.
these sorts of things generally are. hers just all verged on 'no talking', which had been weird and hard at first because she was a talkative teenager and a talkative young adult and then she'd had to learn how to shut that down really fast. also wow that was seriously a lot of talking. ] I tried the thinking about nothing thing. Not a lot of fun.
see this is why kindergarten is important you learn how to share
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motherofnemesis
2012-12-13 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
That is not a solution. [ She's pretty sure it's not a solution. She's not even sure what problem it's supposed to be solving, but she's pretty sure that's just because she wasn't paying very good attention.
She frowns a little bit at that non answer, gaze sharpening. It's an effective yes, as is the way he sets himself between them. She didn't want that answer, but she didn't want him to lie to her either. Both options suck. She almost says 'he can't hurt me now,' but that's really not true at all, is it. And that's enough of shock, she needs to pull herself together and stop freaking out over what she can't change. Falling apart isn't acceptable. She would never have done this before. She's - ] Gotten soft.
[ It's a faint murmur, not so much meant to be heard as for herself as she grits her teeth and sets one foot in front of the other. She's gotten through worse. This isn't so bad. She thinks something's wrong with the ribs on her left side, but that can be put off till later so long as she can still breathe. And she can breathe. It hurts, but it's been worse before. She can even categorize what hurts - head, hand (hand? no, fingers - yes, he'd tried to get her to release her grip on the knife), ribs - the cut should burn but she almost can't feel it. That means she can deal with it. ] He's not going to kill me, that would be - anticlimactic. Extremely so. [ Just keep talking, just keep moving. ] He's just going to mildly inconvenience me for a little while. Blood's disposable to a certain point. It comes back.
She frowns a little bit at that non answer, gaze sharpening. It's an effective yes, as is the way he sets himself between them. She didn't want that answer, but she didn't want him to lie to her either. Both options suck. She almost says 'he can't hurt me now,' but that's really not true at all, is it. And that's enough of shock, she needs to pull herself together and stop freaking out over what she can't change. Falling apart isn't acceptable. She would never have done this before. She's - ] Gotten soft.
[ It's a faint murmur, not so much meant to be heard as for herself as she grits her teeth and sets one foot in front of the other. She's gotten through worse. This isn't so bad. She thinks something's wrong with the ribs on her left side, but that can be put off till later so long as she can still breathe. And she can breathe. It hurts, but it's been worse before. She can even categorize what hurts - head, hand (hand? no, fingers - yes, he'd tried to get her to release her grip on the knife), ribs - the cut should burn but she almost can't feel it. That means she can deal with it. ] He's not going to kill me, that would be - anticlimactic. Extremely so. [ Just keep talking, just keep moving. ] He's just going to mildly inconvenience me for a little while. Blood's disposable to a certain point. It comes back.
[ oh, well that's like the total opposite of how tony regards sex. sex is a thing and he doesn't have feelings about it. (except that he totally does have feelings about it, he just as so many he doesn't know what to do with them and a cascade failure starts to take place. although, to be fair, this isn't to do with sex in general. just affection and basically positive interaction between people.) ] Really? I don't think you did it right. Zoning out?
It'll work. Doughnuts are very fattening, or so I'm told. I know a nice place to get some too. Bit of a fly, but I'll get them once you're all patched up.
[ wow okay don't fucking be out of it one moment and then sharp and perceptive the next that's just unnerving. Technically he didn't lie to her, he just didn't tell her anything. The guy isn't moving, but he could technically still be alive, Tony just cares a lot more about her and again, assumes the guy probably did something to merit her stabbing him. ] Better not have. C'mon, stay with me, Gibson. Do you need to put an arm over my shoulders, take some of the weight off?
[ privately, tony doesn't think death or this guy on the ground care about whether or not her death is climactic, anticlimactic, climatic, or occurs during a climax - dead is dead and not dead is better regardless of the impact on the rest of the narrative. ] Is this what talking to me is like? This must be why everyone complains about it all the time. Blood doesn't come back as quickly as you're losing it, okay. When we get out of this alley, I'm going to find something to wrap around your torso to add constant pressure and then if you can handle it, I'm just going to fly us home, okay? There's so much traffic right now, and people milling around, we'll never make it otherwise.
[ wow okay don't fucking be out of it one moment and then sharp and perceptive the next that's just unnerving. Technically he didn't lie to her, he just didn't tell her anything. The guy isn't moving, but he could technically still be alive, Tony just cares a lot more about her and again, assumes the guy probably did something to merit her stabbing him. ] Better not have. C'mon, stay with me, Gibson. Do you need to put an arm over my shoulders, take some of the weight off?
[ privately, tony doesn't think death or this guy on the ground care about whether or not her death is climactic, anticlimactic, climatic, or occurs during a climax - dead is dead and not dead is better regardless of the impact on the rest of the narrative. ] Is this what talking to me is like? This must be why everyone complains about it all the time. Blood doesn't come back as quickly as you're losing it, okay. When we get out of this alley, I'm going to find something to wrap around your torso to add constant pressure and then if you can handle it, I'm just going to fly us home, okay? There's so much traffic right now, and people milling around, we'll never make it otherwise.
[ it's the whole intimacy and closeness thing and also that sex can make it really hard to keep her empathy in check. plus that she sometimes finds it very hard to let herself be on the receiving end of things. it feels too vulnerable most of the time. also seriously someday he's going to have to figure that out, having cascade failures from positive interactions isn't a very good thing really. ] Not zoning out. Nothing else to think about. Only so many times you can go over the fibonacci sequence in your head.
... why to fear the gingerbread man and i don't know how that happened
motherofnemesis
2012-12-13 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
That sounds good, yeah.
[ though she is still not sure why they need donuts. She doesn't actually really realize she said that skeletal thing out loud and she's having trouble maintaining sharpness, sliding in and out, only able to snap into it for important things. He didn't lie to her, no. He avoided telling her the truth but that's different. Different enough. ] Lifting my arm to put it over your shoulders would pull muscles that don't need further pulling and mess with my ribs and possibly make it bleed out faster. [ beat. ] Thanks but no, it's fine. I'm fine. You never really call me Max.
[ She breathes as he talks, watches him more than where she's going because it's distracting and she'll take any distractions right now. That's the key to everything. You ignore what's there and replace it with everything else around you. You don't belong in this moment. You belong in the one just a side universe over where you're having this conversation while you're fine. ] It does come back though, eventually. Six quarts in the human body, the heart pumps that about every minute or two but to everywhere, this is just a specific portion of the body, probably not losing too much. [ Once you say it out loud, that's when things get dicey. She'll just keep contradicting him if he keeps pointing it out, because she doesn't want to hear it out loud. It is going to be too much if it doesn't stop. ] All good. Takes about a month to regenerate fully from donating blood, which is about 3/4 of a pint. But you don't have to take time off for it, you can just keep going. Of course I can handle it. I'm on top of this being okay shit.
[ though she is still not sure why they need donuts. She doesn't actually really realize she said that skeletal thing out loud and she's having trouble maintaining sharpness, sliding in and out, only able to snap into it for important things. He didn't lie to her, no. He avoided telling her the truth but that's different. Different enough. ] Lifting my arm to put it over your shoulders would pull muscles that don't need further pulling and mess with my ribs and possibly make it bleed out faster. [ beat. ] Thanks but no, it's fine. I'm fine. You never really call me Max.
[ She breathes as he talks, watches him more than where she's going because it's distracting and she'll take any distractions right now. That's the key to everything. You ignore what's there and replace it with everything else around you. You don't belong in this moment. You belong in the one just a side universe over where you're having this conversation while you're fine. ] It does come back though, eventually. Six quarts in the human body, the heart pumps that about every minute or two but to everywhere, this is just a specific portion of the body, probably not losing too much. [ Once you say it out loud, that's when things get dicey. She'll just keep contradicting him if he keeps pointing it out, because she doesn't want to hear it out loud. It is going to be too much if it doesn't stop. ] All good. Takes about a month to regenerate fully from donating blood, which is about 3/4 of a pint. But you don't have to take time off for it, you can just keep going. Of course I can handle it. I'm on top of this being okay shit.
[ okay that makes sense. It's a vague source of frustration on his side, because Tony long ago learned to associate the physical with the emotional on an interchangeable scale, with things one can directly point to being the things that allow one to gauge a relationship. People connect to each other with wires and pathways just like anything else, it's just that the wires are physical intimacy and the pathways are random bestowals of generosity. So when she, or anyone else, doesn't take something, it's basically just a refusal of his own feelings. Which is like, perfect, right. They're both so screwed up sometimes. ] There are sequences way more interesting than that one, please, it's almost prosaic.
[ ooc: shit but we never actually saw him and then it just ended in the playground and we were supposed to forget it and play but i couldn't stop being paranoid he was still out there watching us or something I WAS A SMART CHILD OKAY ]
Okay so we won't do that, no moving arms, bad idea, who even came up with that idea, that was terrible. [ so maybe he'll just have to carry you, that's cool. for the flying part at least. supposing you can handle it. also, what. blink. ] Do you want me to? [ he usually just nicknames the people he likes, technically Gibson is kind of low on the creative scale, but he's kind of preoccupied at the moment.
also hey he notices that, tries to look a little more reassuring and light-hearted. just ignore the moment, don't be in it, right, you're not here anyway, you're not even likely to be here. ] Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with the circulatory system. Gotta understand how something that doesn't work that well goes together so you can keep it going. [ finally the end of the alley. ] Awesome, so you stay on top of this being okay shit and lean against this right here and I'll go harass an EMT for something.
Okay so we won't do that, no moving arms, bad idea, who even came up with that idea, that was terrible. [ so maybe he'll just have to carry you, that's cool. for the flying part at least. supposing you can handle it. also, what. blink. ] Do you want me to? [ he usually just nicknames the people he likes, technically Gibson is kind of low on the creative scale, but he's kind of preoccupied at the moment.
also hey he notices that, tries to look a little more reassuring and light-hearted. just ignore the moment, don't be in it, right, you're not here anyway, you're not even likely to be here. ] Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with the circulatory system. Gotta understand how something that doesn't work that well goes together so you can keep it going. [ finally the end of the alley. ] Awesome, so you stay on top of this being okay shit and lean against this right here and I'll go harass an EMT for something.
[ They are both seriously screwed up. It's kind of like a running experiment in precisely how screwed up can two people be, frequently in opposite directions, and still somehow manage to keep a relationship that makes them both happy. At least most of the time she's happy to take what he offers, except for under specific circumstances. And slowly becoming more comfortable with others, like she can accept them without feeling like she's overweighing a balance somewhere. ] Went through a lot of them, too. Fibonacci's prosaic, yeah, but it's nicely basic.
personally i happen to think paranoia is a really healthy thing to have to an extent
motherofnemesis
2012-12-14 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
It would have been a nice idea but it couldn't be. [ she notices a lot of things, over time, she just doesn't mention the majority of them because of that whole thing where normally she doesn't initiative conversations much herself. and now she is, because she needs things to talk about. ] I don't really care just. Noticed it a while back.
[ she would laugh but that is a terrible idea, so instead she just nods, very seriously, and leans back against the wall and closes her eyes. he's got this under control, here. seems pretty sure of what he's doing, and she's just going to keep believing that and wonder if she can forcibly slow her heart down for a little while. ] You do that. Harass away. You're an excellent harasser.
[ she would laugh but that is a terrible idea, so instead she just nods, very seriously, and leans back against the wall and closes her eyes. he's got this under control, here. seems pretty sure of what he's doing, and she's just going to keep believing that and wonder if she can forcibly slow her heart down for a little while. ] You do that. Harass away. You're an excellent harasser.
Could teach you some new ones. A bit more complicated. Bit easier to settle into. Fibby-boy's not the only one who did sequencing. [ Which is weird, right, because he doesn't have a problem accepting things from other people. Some of them are superficial, but like, from her. He would accept anything she tried to give to him. He, in fact, wants to give, which is apparently what she wants to do as well, so the logical here would be to simply let her give to him and he'll just take it and do nothing. Except he'd feel horrible about himself, so he has to give you something in return. He's not even really all that into the tat-for-tat, reciprocation thing, but damn. Really?
It's all just very very strange and complicated and he'll be happy for the day she trusts him enough to not have to think about it, or lets him go down on her purely because he wants to hear the sounds she makes, or another handjob and this time not because they're biding time until he gets hard again and they can go back to what they really wanted to be doing. ]
It's all just very very strange and complicated and he'll be happy for the day she trusts him enough to not have to think about it, or lets him go down on her purely because he wants to hear the sounds she makes, or another handjob and this time not because they're biding time until he gets hard again and they can go back to what they really wanted to be doing. ]
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