[ She's very good at that sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes she's very good at getting away with not cheating at all and still kind of cheating a little bit. Her free hand slides down his side in turn as he kisses her, eyes still closed as she tilts her head a little to bare her skin for him further. ] What about words?
[ She has mixed feelings about the marks she sometimes leaves on him with her nails, feels strange about marring any part of him but at the same time she loves the tangibility of it, likes retracing it afterwards with her lips, is terribly pleased with him being hers in all the ways it shows. Loves that he's pleased to have her mark him, is willing to let her do that. And he's holding her closer even as she's clinging to him, supporting and so close and she can feel him, lets her shields drop so she can give him some of her sensation as well, quite a bit of the feeling of perfect completion that's permeating her right now, that extra nudge as she presses her lips to his neck and rocks her hips back against his slowly, coming back to herself incrementally and just enough to do this for him. ]
[ She's pretty sure that the actual issues behind that are going to someday require more time than she has right now, and it's a tangent from what she started this out wanting to know. She catalogues that information though, quite carefully, leans in close enough that he can feel the warmth from her skin, lips against the skin of his stomach as she speaks. ]
One more question. If you answer it and ask well enough you can come. [ Everything about her movement terribly deliberate right now. ] Do you believe that I will always come find you?
One more question. If you answer it and ask well enough you can come. [ Everything about her movement terribly deliberate right now. ] Do you believe that I will always come find you?
[ She doesn't really have to worry - he was pretty much done for the moment she dropped her shields. Between that and the clinging, the rock back in return, the pleasure both physical and otherwise that reverberates back and forth between the pair of them - he tightens and goes taut, movements irregular and asynchronous but still making the attempt if out of practice than nothing else. He slows down, but continues to hold her closely, even if he winds up resting a bit more of his weight on her than before. ]
[ Oh, jesus. Not like there's any pressure involved with that or anything.
It's probably a good thing she put that particular restriction on his reply though, because it's one thing to trust someone first without realizing it, another to actually know that you do trust them to the extent that you do - and that revelation is a little strange in and of itself, and accompanied by no small amount of additional inner probing. It's something entirely different, for some reason, to admit to that person that you do, for some reason, in fact trust them to a degree that's more or less simply implicit. It feels almost as baring as anything else he's told her so far, and he squirms with the directness of it just as much as with the warmth of her breath and motion of her hand. She's so controlled though, so deliberate, and there's not a whole lot he can do to escape the focus she's put him under that doesn't consist of giving her what she's asking for.
Which, of course, in and of itself makes him less willing to give it to her. He holds out stubbornly for a little while, the answer he's going to give fairly obvious but one he's still - for some reason - ill prepared to provide. Eventually, of course, the pressure both physically and otherwise provide an admirable incentive. As per the norm - because he's a genius but obstinance requires he be somewhat slow on the learning curve for some issues - his answer hovers around the grey wiggle room associated with what she was actually asking, although this time it's closer than his previous ones have been. ] You always have, you haven't left me so far, all of my shit and whatever shit you still have, I don't think you'll leave me anywhere, please. Can I please, now?
It's probably a good thing she put that particular restriction on his reply though, because it's one thing to trust someone first without realizing it, another to actually know that you do trust them to the extent that you do - and that revelation is a little strange in and of itself, and accompanied by no small amount of additional inner probing. It's something entirely different, for some reason, to admit to that person that you do, for some reason, in fact trust them to a degree that's more or less simply implicit. It feels almost as baring as anything else he's told her so far, and he squirms with the directness of it just as much as with the warmth of her breath and motion of her hand. She's so controlled though, so deliberate, and there's not a whole lot he can do to escape the focus she's put him under that doesn't consist of giving her what she's asking for.
Which, of course, in and of itself makes him less willing to give it to her. He holds out stubbornly for a little while, the answer he's going to give fairly obvious but one he's still - for some reason - ill prepared to provide. Eventually, of course, the pressure both physically and otherwise provide an admirable incentive. As per the norm - because he's a genius but obstinance requires he be somewhat slow on the learning curve for some issues - his answer hovers around the grey wiggle room associated with what she was actually asking, although this time it's closer than his previous ones have been. ] You always have, you haven't left me so far, all of my shit and whatever shit you still have, I don't think you'll leave me anywhere, please. Can I please, now?
[ God, it's amazing how distracting he can be with just his lips. But she wants his voice, too, is listening to every word he says carefully because she loves the timbre of it, loves the reminder of his presence that comes with his voice almost as much as the reminder that comes with his touch. ] Asking. [ Voice tightening just a little as she slips her hand under the hem of his shirt, rests it on warm skin. ] There's nothing quite as real as you.
[ She's holding onto him as closely as she can, legs wrapped around him as she gasps, melds them together as much as she can. All she can do right now is do that, hold on as they ride it out together, share everything she can with him. Right now, she feels certain that they can do anything if it's together. Eventually she sinks back against the mattress a little, looking to pull him with her for at least a little bit as she breathes out against his skin. ] God, Tony.
[ He can't escape this focus, not without answering the question. It's specific for a reason, oriented at a specific goal. She knows he trusts her. She knows a lot of things in regards to him, but she wants to drive this one particular point home right now, wants him to understand after everything he's said to her, all the times people have failed him and all the ways he's been left to fend for himself over and over again - she needs him to know that is never going to happen again. She is fairly certain he does believe it, but she wants him to say it out loud, acknowledge to himself that he believes it. If he doesn't believe it that's another matter entirely, but she's pretty sure this is just a matter of him having difficulty actually saying it.
It happens a lot, and it's something she understands, but nevertheless she's waiting out for the answer. This is something he's going to be able to acknowledge that he believes because she needs him to say it out loud, for him and for her. There's a long pause after his answer as she considers it, determines whether it fits what she asked from him.
And then she speeds up her pace a little, just calculated enough, presses closer against him and gives herself enough leverage with the chair that she can press her mouth against his neck and his pulse. ] I will never leave you anywhere. You can come.
It happens a lot, and it's something she understands, but nevertheless she's waiting out for the answer. This is something he's going to be able to acknowledge that he believes because she needs him to say it out loud, for him and for her. There's a long pause after his answer as she considers it, determines whether it fits what she asked from him.
And then she speeds up her pace a little, just calculated enough, presses closer against him and gives herself enough leverage with the chair that she can press her mouth against his neck and his pulse. ] I will never leave you anywhere. You can come.
[ She's done this before. She's done it before a few times too many, but it's not like that actually makes it easier. The days start bleeding together after not too long. She expected that, the lack of knowledge of how long it's been, how often she's been taken out of this cell and put back in to nurse her wounds, the loss of ability to do more than say no over and over again. After her shields snap (again) it becomes harder to put a coherent thought together in her brain, much less say it out loud. She can, in theory, but it's not all that necessary anyways. A little better to not be able to think too clearly.
It takes longer than she thought it would to stop believing Tony will come for her. Some part of her is still clinging to it stubbornly even still, even though she knows that if he hasn't come by now there has to be a reason. She's too far away, she's not findable - he's dead. The last one isn't acceptable. She has to believe that he made it, that he's still alive, or all of this becomes even more pointless than it started out as. Tony's alive, but if he hasn't found her by now then they have to be doing a very good job of hiding her.
In the end when rescue does come she doesn't even recognize it at first, fights them the same as she fights anyone trying to touch her, instinctive and vicious and with a total lack of care for any pain that results. It's only when she feels Tony's mind somewhere nearby and hears someone yelling for him that she freezes long enough for one of them to get just enough sedative in her that she's a little more pliant. Not that she believes it yet. Not that she has any faith she's not dreaming all of this, isn't just desperate enough that her brain is giving her something, anything to help her escape temporarily.
Her mind searches out through the rescue party again, cataloguing them even as she tentatively reaches towards the flame of Tony's mind (different, muted somehow, it's not quite right). He's nearby if it actually is him. Coming closer. One of the rescue party must have recognized her and that's why they called him. ]
It takes longer than she thought it would to stop believing Tony will come for her. Some part of her is still clinging to it stubbornly even still, even though she knows that if he hasn't come by now there has to be a reason. She's too far away, she's not findable - he's dead. The last one isn't acceptable. She has to believe that he made it, that he's still alive, or all of this becomes even more pointless than it started out as. Tony's alive, but if he hasn't found her by now then they have to be doing a very good job of hiding her.
In the end when rescue does come she doesn't even recognize it at first, fights them the same as she fights anyone trying to touch her, instinctive and vicious and with a total lack of care for any pain that results. It's only when she feels Tony's mind somewhere nearby and hears someone yelling for him that she freezes long enough for one of them to get just enough sedative in her that she's a little more pliant. Not that she believes it yet. Not that she has any faith she's not dreaming all of this, isn't just desperate enough that her brain is giving her something, anything to help her escape temporarily.
Her mind searches out through the rescue party again, cataloguing them even as she tentatively reaches towards the flame of Tony's mind (different, muted somehow, it's not quite right). He's nearby if it actually is him. Coming closer. One of the rescue party must have recognized her and that's why they called him. ]
[ It's been precisely three times Too Fucking Long, that's how long it's been. He can't believe how long it's actually been, how long their plan worked - they've been separated before, sure, they're both busy, both in various sorts of demand, but it's never been for this long. Never for nearly this long.
The fact that he was tricked for as long as he was, too, is... Difficult to describe. The sheer amount of self-loathing that's stemming from that has put anything he ever held prior to now to complete shame, and the determination to either rectify the mistake or pay them back tenfold for their kindness has become all but a doctrine or motto by which to wake up and sleep with every day. It just hasn't been that difficult to hold onto that feeling, the one he slowly realized one day when the empathic feedback he got from 'her', when 'her' shields dropped in the heat of the moment, felt the same. Never stronger, never altering. Slightly different, perhaps, but the same in several ways that mattered. Once that aspect of the illusion was shattered, it wasn't difficult to fracture and fragment the others.
He did at least have a three month crash course in interrogation techniques he was able to utilize. Let it never be said Tony Stark isn't a quick study, nor does he have difficulty taking his lessons and expanding upon them. He's been called 'creative' more often than even he has ever bothered to count.
However, the information was fairly vague before the impostor ceased providing it, and shortly afterward was taken elsewhere to be dealt with properly. Since then, he's been toeing the line between a balanced laser-like focus and sheer rage, reckless and ruthlessly efficient, all the strategy and war-mongering he'd been pushing aside and putting behind him come to the forefront once again. He doesn't even particularly expect to find her by now - it's been too long, and the enemy is too careful to leave people as resourceful as her just sitting around. On the other hand, they're reluctant to lose people as useful as her either, and it's that sad fact, combined with what he knows of her ability to survive, that's prevented him from losing hope altogether. It's double-edged, and more than anything else he's been able to ever compare it to.
They're following up on a lead - not a strong one, but when are they ever certain these days - when someone calls him. Senses high and on edge - as they always seem to be now - he can tell the difference in their voice, the tightness and emotional reaction involved, even if he can't tell precisely what it's for. Sometimes these rescues don't always go well, and those who haven't been on more than a couple can have adverse reactions. But he comes anyway, because this one feels different even if he built up shields to block out concern and anything else a long time ago, because maybe they need help. Maybe it's just a firm grip on their shoulder to get them back to rights.
It's really only the suit and JARVIS that prevent his knees from giving out when he comes over to see what he's been called for. He wasn't thinking much, giving in to that particular form of controlled rage that he's perfected lately, but when he sees her - and it's her this time, he can tell, because he can feel her now - everything vacates. Thoughts, fear, anger - everything. He still heads towards her slowly, stepping out of the suit midstride, because they've secured the area and even if they haven't, he doesn't care, he doesn't care if it's a trap because it's been too long and he doesn't care. He just needs to be sure that it's her, and to do that he needs to be outside his suit and vulnerable.
So he comes over slowly, but steadily, coming up next to her and altering his posture to avoid looming over her by accident. ] Hey.
The fact that he was tricked for as long as he was, too, is... Difficult to describe. The sheer amount of self-loathing that's stemming from that has put anything he ever held prior to now to complete shame, and the determination to either rectify the mistake or pay them back tenfold for their kindness has become all but a doctrine or motto by which to wake up and sleep with every day. It just hasn't been that difficult to hold onto that feeling, the one he slowly realized one day when the empathic feedback he got from 'her', when 'her' shields dropped in the heat of the moment, felt the same. Never stronger, never altering. Slightly different, perhaps, but the same in several ways that mattered. Once that aspect of the illusion was shattered, it wasn't difficult to fracture and fragment the others.
He did at least have a three month crash course in interrogation techniques he was able to utilize. Let it never be said Tony Stark isn't a quick study, nor does he have difficulty taking his lessons and expanding upon them. He's been called 'creative' more often than even he has ever bothered to count.
However, the information was fairly vague before the impostor ceased providing it, and shortly afterward was taken elsewhere to be dealt with properly. Since then, he's been toeing the line between a balanced laser-like focus and sheer rage, reckless and ruthlessly efficient, all the strategy and war-mongering he'd been pushing aside and putting behind him come to the forefront once again. He doesn't even particularly expect to find her by now - it's been too long, and the enemy is too careful to leave people as resourceful as her just sitting around. On the other hand, they're reluctant to lose people as useful as her either, and it's that sad fact, combined with what he knows of her ability to survive, that's prevented him from losing hope altogether. It's double-edged, and more than anything else he's been able to ever compare it to.
They're following up on a lead - not a strong one, but when are they ever certain these days - when someone calls him. Senses high and on edge - as they always seem to be now - he can tell the difference in their voice, the tightness and emotional reaction involved, even if he can't tell precisely what it's for. Sometimes these rescues don't always go well, and those who haven't been on more than a couple can have adverse reactions. But he comes anyway, because this one feels different even if he built up shields to block out concern and anything else a long time ago, because maybe they need help. Maybe it's just a firm grip on their shoulder to get them back to rights.
It's really only the suit and JARVIS that prevent his knees from giving out when he comes over to see what he's been called for. He wasn't thinking much, giving in to that particular form of controlled rage that he's perfected lately, but when he sees her - and it's her this time, he can tell, because he can feel her now - everything vacates. Thoughts, fear, anger - everything. He still heads towards her slowly, stepping out of the suit midstride, because they've secured the area and even if they haven't, he doesn't care, he doesn't care if it's a trap because it's been too long and he doesn't care. He just needs to be sure that it's her, and to do that he needs to be outside his suit and vulnerable.
So he comes over slowly, but steadily, coming up next to her and altering his posture to avoid looming over her by accident. ] Hey.
you're terrible i'm terrible nobody can ever be happy
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
motherofnemesis
2013-11-07 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ She feels the blank out of his mind, knows that hers is going similarly utterly still for the first time in a long time at the sight of him, at the way he's moving towards her, the suit left behind as she pushes away the person supporting her and takes a step forward of her own, not quite steady but she doesn't care, she doesn't have to be steady anymore. If he's really here, if it's actually him, he can do that for her. If he's really here. If it isn't him who gives a damn if she's steady or not? ]
Hey. [ She clears her throat, voice too rusty for her liking, and tries again as she lifts a hand, retracts it again. If she reaches it out and he's not actually there she won't be able to handle that, even if reaching out and touching him doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things, not since the first week and the time they'd had someone who looked just like Tony, felt just like Tony, right down to the gentleness of his hand before - They'd enjoyed that game, and maybe this is just another round but she can't stop her movement towards him, hasn't ever been able to. He looks so real, his mind different from what she remembers and that's a good sign she thinks. Their him had never had the suit, too. She collects her evidence and tries to believe in it, tries not to think of the way her heart had jumped instinctively when he walked in. ] How's it.
[ She bites her lip, hard enough to bleed as she breathes in. There's heat coming off his body, she can feel it. He was so angry, when she felt him before, angry the way only Tony can quite manage, the sort of anger on her behalf she's felt from him before. She wouldn't make that up, right? She doesn't pull her hand away this time when she raises it, but it hovers just next to his face as she watches him, frozen and not able to make the last half inch, not able to let herself believe it could be real. He's so close. ] I need you to tell me if you're real or not. [ Her voice catches just a little bit, trips over itself. ] Please don't lie to me. It's okay if you're not, I just need to know.
[ Hallucination, another attempt to fuck with her, but please to whatever there is above let it be him. She knows full well she doesn't deserve him and never has, but hasn't she paid enough in blood that it makes up for that? ]
Hey. [ She clears her throat, voice too rusty for her liking, and tries again as she lifts a hand, retracts it again. If she reaches it out and he's not actually there she won't be able to handle that, even if reaching out and touching him doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things, not since the first week and the time they'd had someone who looked just like Tony, felt just like Tony, right down to the gentleness of his hand before - They'd enjoyed that game, and maybe this is just another round but she can't stop her movement towards him, hasn't ever been able to. He looks so real, his mind different from what she remembers and that's a good sign she thinks. Their him had never had the suit, too. She collects her evidence and tries to believe in it, tries not to think of the way her heart had jumped instinctively when he walked in. ] How's it.
[ She bites her lip, hard enough to bleed as she breathes in. There's heat coming off his body, she can feel it. He was so angry, when she felt him before, angry the way only Tony can quite manage, the sort of anger on her behalf she's felt from him before. She wouldn't make that up, right? She doesn't pull her hand away this time when she raises it, but it hovers just next to his face as she watches him, frozen and not able to make the last half inch, not able to let herself believe it could be real. He's so close. ] I need you to tell me if you're real or not. [ Her voice catches just a little bit, trips over itself. ] Please don't lie to me. It's okay if you're not, I just need to know.
[ Hallucination, another attempt to fuck with her, but please to whatever there is above let it be him. She knows full well she doesn't deserve him and never has, but hasn't she paid enough in blood that it makes up for that? ]
[ He stays still as she reaches out to him, and understands but feels a flare of - what? anger, sadness? - when she retracted her hand. The both of them seemed to be having trouble allowing themselves to believe that what they were looking at was truly what they were looking at, that it wasn't some sort of second elaborate ruse to finally crack and crispen their spirits once and for all.
The little inquiry, like nothing's devastatingly wrong with this picture as a whole, forces a very small smile, a quirk of his lips. But then that too, retracts, as she continues to catalogue and consider. She bites her lips, and that's so wrong, because she's already broken and bleeding enough as it is, he doesn't want her to do any more of that than she has to, and definitely not over something so unimportant as himself. He's the one who couldn't even tell he didn't have her, that he was literally sleeping with the enemy, until it was far too late. Nevermind that realizing any later than immediately counted as far too late.
Her hand reaches out for a second attempt, but can't close the distance on its own, and the tremor to her voice is probably similar to the one that would have been in his own if he weren't using hers to shore himself up on. They can't both fall apart. It would be stupid to anyway, now that he's finally found her again. So he slowly turns his face, keeps looking at her but twists to press a kiss to somewhere in the middle of her palm, keeps turning and ducks a little bit to press his face into her hand, let the fingers slide against his hair and then settle on his cheek and jaw like she'd put them there herself. ] Very real. I'm right here, okay? I'm gonna take you home.
The little inquiry, like nothing's devastatingly wrong with this picture as a whole, forces a very small smile, a quirk of his lips. But then that too, retracts, as she continues to catalogue and consider. She bites her lips, and that's so wrong, because she's already broken and bleeding enough as it is, he doesn't want her to do any more of that than she has to, and definitely not over something so unimportant as himself. He's the one who couldn't even tell he didn't have her, that he was literally sleeping with the enemy, until it was far too late. Nevermind that realizing any later than immediately counted as far too late.
Her hand reaches out for a second attempt, but can't close the distance on its own, and the tremor to her voice is probably similar to the one that would have been in his own if he weren't using hers to shore himself up on. They can't both fall apart. It would be stupid to anyway, now that he's finally found her again. So he slowly turns his face, keeps looking at her but twists to press a kiss to somewhere in the middle of her palm, keeps turning and ducks a little bit to press his face into her hand, let the fingers slide against his hair and then settle on his cheek and jaw like she'd put them there herself. ] Very real. I'm right here, okay? I'm gonna take you home.
[ Is she sure she wants his voice, because that by rote and nature means he can't be as distracting with his lips, and she seems to be really enjoying that.
He's also just casually going to pay attention to the thing she said for a moment before actually doing what she asked for, because he's stalling. He likes to stall. Especially since she made a real request there and he's probably not going to answer it as glibly as she's expecting him to. ] I know a angry pirate who would disagree. Not that I do - I'm very real.
He's also just casually going to pay attention to the thing she said for a moment before actually doing what she asked for, because he's stalling. He likes to stall. Especially since she made a real request there and he's probably not going to answer it as glibly as she's expecting him to. ] I know a angry pirate who would disagree. Not that I do - I'm very real.
[ He'll come down with her easily enough, tired and already moving to rest on her and waiting to catch his breath. He's not looking to lie flat on her, moves to rest a little to the side so he doesn't pin her straight to the mattress, but he's otherwise not making any movements to disagree with her intimated suggestion. ] Synonyms, right? I've been telling people.
[ She loves that momentary smile so much, wants to find a way to get it back because she likes it so much more than the look on his face right now. She's not even sure how to classify it, just knows that it probably reflects her own fairly well right now and she'd rather he were smiling even if she knows it's not necessarily a reasonable wish. Nothing is really a reasonable wish right now after all, is it?
She'd do anything to just sit and watch him smile for a little while.
His lips against her skin are impossible and so gentle, her fingers curling through his hair for a moment before he rests her hand against his face, a facsimile of every time she's done it herself, in comfort or just because she can or reassurance. For a long moment she's still frozen, just watching him and taking in the feel of his skin against her hand and then she closes the distance between them with a brutal suddenness, buries herself against his chest and hides her face in him, free hand twisted into his shirt to keep him close to her, right here, he can't go anywhere. This might not be real but it has to be. ]
Sounds good. [ Her voice is muffled against his shirt but there's life in it again even as it breaks a little, because she may not entirely believe this still but she can smell him and feel him and there's the arc reactor through his shirt and his voice and it's all okay for at least this one tiny span of time. It might end any moment but for this moment she could carry mountains. ] Can we, please. I want to go home now.
She'd do anything to just sit and watch him smile for a little while.
His lips against her skin are impossible and so gentle, her fingers curling through his hair for a moment before he rests her hand against his face, a facsimile of every time she's done it herself, in comfort or just because she can or reassurance. For a long moment she's still frozen, just watching him and taking in the feel of his skin against her hand and then she closes the distance between them with a brutal suddenness, buries herself against his chest and hides her face in him, free hand twisted into his shirt to keep him close to her, right here, he can't go anywhere. This might not be real but it has to be. ]
Sounds good. [ Her voice is muffled against his shirt but there's life in it again even as it breaks a little, because she may not entirely believe this still but she can smell him and feel him and there's the arc reactor through his shirt and his voice and it's all okay for at least this one tiny span of time. It might end any moment but for this moment she could carry mountains. ] Can we, please. I want to go home now.
far too accurate the things they have done for each other man
motherofnemesis
2013-11-07 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ While yes, she is very fond of what his lips are doing right now she does actually want his voice as well, is looking to encourage it as her hand slides his shirt up a little bit.
Him stalling is definitely something she's quite used to by now, and he's right in that she doesn't really expect any answer beyond this one. She hadn't really meant to say that bit out loud to start with. ] Well, the angry pirate can deal with it.
Him stalling is definitely something she's quite used to by now, and he's right in that she doesn't really expect any answer beyond this one. She hadn't really meant to say that bit out loud to start with. ] Well, the angry pirate can deal with it.
[ She shifts with him, pulls off of him before he softens before settling and letting out a long breath,grinning at his words. Of course that's how he took it, it's not remotely a surprise. ] I agree, but you can't use me as a reference. [ One hand moves off of him briefly to rest on her stomach for a little bit, just - checking. ] You know how I feel about publicity.
[ It's cool, neither of them needs to particularly sit down and catalogue all their feelings and emotions right now - they'd both probably just explode from the effort. Too many things to keep track of, too many things to keep in.
Going home though, that's not an unreasonable wish right now, not if he can help it, and he totally can. He can help it, and her, and when she collides into him, pulls herself in and close and stays, he holds her just as tight in return. Arms around her, shoulders and back and torso curving around her to keep her safe and protected like he hasn't been able to do properly for ... too long now (and that's his job. What good is a sentinel who can't protect their guide? What good is a hero who can't protect their loved ones?) He stands tall and solid for her because that's what he should do, and when she speaks again, all it does is strengthen the resolve to always do so. ]
Yeah. C'mon, we're going home. [ It's more or less murmured just to her, because they're close, and he doesn't need to be loud. He's been very loud for a while now, and she's here again and he doesn't have to be anymore. All he does for the moment is shift a little bit, bend and move one arm from around her torso to under her legs because she looks exhausted and broken and that's about all he can take of that. The only thing that'll make him let go of her right now is her asking him to. ] JARVIS, take the suit home. We're taking the ranger back.
Going home though, that's not an unreasonable wish right now, not if he can help it, and he totally can. He can help it, and her, and when she collides into him, pulls herself in and close and stays, he holds her just as tight in return. Arms around her, shoulders and back and torso curving around her to keep her safe and protected like he hasn't been able to do properly for ... too long now (and that's his job. What good is a sentinel who can't protect their guide? What good is a hero who can't protect their loved ones?) He stands tall and solid for her because that's what he should do, and when she speaks again, all it does is strengthen the resolve to always do so. ]
Yeah. C'mon, we're going home. [ It's more or less murmured just to her, because they're close, and he doesn't need to be loud. He's been very loud for a while now, and she's here again and he doesn't have to be anymore. All he does for the moment is shift a little bit, bend and move one arm from around her torso to under her legs because she looks exhausted and broken and that's about all he can take of that. The only thing that'll make him let go of her right now is her asking him to. ] JARVIS, take the suit home. We're taking the ranger back.
[ Yeah she might actually explode from any kind of emotional understanding effort right now. She's not even trying to understand what she feels beyond knowing that she is too happy at him being there, it's dangerous, but she can't stop it either.
And god that feels good, feels safe and right to have him that tight around her even if her body aches with almost any move. She doesn't really care about that anymore with his arms around her, his body sheltering her. Some part of her is already starting to realize that he hasn't had her for a while, that that can't have been good for him and he's so unlikely to have accepted help from anyone, but for the moment all she can really do is curl tightly into him.
There's no protest at all to being picked up except for a momentary grimace of pain which is perhaps a sign in and of itself given how little she generally enjoys anything of the being carried nature. She leans into him as much as she can, breathing in the smell of him as opposed to the smell of this place, nods slowly when he says that. ] I'm sorry. [ Almost too quiet to even catch, her voice still hoarse. ] Don't let anyone drug me again.
And god that feels good, feels safe and right to have him that tight around her even if her body aches with almost any move. She doesn't really care about that anymore with his arms around her, his body sheltering her. Some part of her is already starting to realize that he hasn't had her for a while, that that can't have been good for him and he's so unlikely to have accepted help from anyone, but for the moment all she can really do is curl tightly into him.
There's no protest at all to being picked up except for a momentary grimace of pain which is perhaps a sign in and of itself given how little she generally enjoys anything of the being carried nature. She leans into him as much as she can, breathing in the smell of him as opposed to the smell of this place, nods slowly when he says that. ] I'm sorry. [ Almost too quiet to even catch, her voice still hoarse. ] Don't let anyone drug me again.
[ Yes, well. It's most of those things that she's trying to contradict that are causing the synapse misfire in the first place. More than simply being difficult to accept that she'll be there every time, is the corollary that he won't be by himself. It seems obvious, and the two are highly intertwined, sure, but there's still a world of difference between them. At least, the way he's looking at it.
It's a good thing she has so much patience and faith. He is himself frequently ill-possessed of either, although for her that frequency tends to alter. He'd be willing to bet that the same goes for her as well.
He's not totally sure whether he was expecting her to accept that answer or make him elaborate for specifics, it wasn't really something he was thinking about anymore by the time he actually got to speaking, but he groans with the increase in speed, the way she gets closer to him and speaks against his skin. It's positive reinforcement of the most basic kind, and he doesn't even care at all, not when it comes with such physical, even emotional release. It doesn't take long at all, just a number of seconds maybe, before he goes even more taut, arms and torso and body flexing and tightening as she finally brings him to the edge and pushes him over it. He doesn't have any sort of stability or traction, nothing to help him stay close to her except her hand and his own lack of counter-movement.
Which is totally fine, he's okay with that, and after a little while, he loosens back up again, albeit somewhat slowly, starting to just hang in place as he was. ]
It's a good thing she has so much patience and faith. He is himself frequently ill-possessed of either, although for her that frequency tends to alter. He'd be willing to bet that the same goes for her as well.
He's not totally sure whether he was expecting her to accept that answer or make him elaborate for specifics, it wasn't really something he was thinking about anymore by the time he actually got to speaking, but he groans with the increase in speed, the way she gets closer to him and speaks against his skin. It's positive reinforcement of the most basic kind, and he doesn't even care at all, not when it comes with such physical, even emotional release. It doesn't take long at all, just a number of seconds maybe, before he goes even more taut, arms and torso and body flexing and tightening as she finally brings him to the edge and pushes him over it. He doesn't have any sort of stability or traction, nothing to help him stay close to her except her hand and his own lack of counter-movement.
Which is totally fine, he's okay with that, and after a little while, he loosens back up again, albeit somewhat slowly, starting to just hang in place as he was. ]
[ Well, that's okay, he supposes. Both the hand and the shirt thing and also the liking basically whatever he does with his mouth. That's probably okay. For the moment, he smiles against her skin. ] I would pay you five thousand dollars to say that to his face.
[ But then it's back to things with his mouth, and figuring out passively what he actually wants to say, if he wants to say anything at all in the first place. He's undecided. A lot of their relationship is predicated on the unspoken and the understood, and while he's not at all opposed to leaving things intimate and intimated, there is something to be said for the certainty of having it made concrete. So. He pulls back just slightly for the start, still close enough to warm her skin with his breath, letting his hands continue their general perusal of the surface of her, but gradually leaning back a little bit more to look at her. Not in the face, because you don't look people in the eyes when you're saying certain important things, but down, following the path of his hands. ]
Safe. You make me feel safe. Reliably. And stronger. More for having something special to protect, but - more than that because you don't even need it. It's voluntary, not an obligation but more like a... Privilege. And because there's safety at the end, there's - Shit. I don't know, there's more to it for some reason. It sounds dumb. But. [ Okay right and now that that's all done it's time to go back to using his mouth for things that are way less embarrassing, leaning back towards her to continue what he was doing before. ]
[ But then it's back to things with his mouth, and figuring out passively what he actually wants to say, if he wants to say anything at all in the first place. He's undecided. A lot of their relationship is predicated on the unspoken and the understood, and while he's not at all opposed to leaving things intimate and intimated, there is something to be said for the certainty of having it made concrete. So. He pulls back just slightly for the start, still close enough to warm her skin with his breath, letting his hands continue their general perusal of the surface of her, but gradually leaning back a little bit more to look at her. Not in the face, because you don't look people in the eyes when you're saying certain important things, but down, following the path of his hands. ]
Safe. You make me feel safe. Reliably. And stronger. More for having something special to protect, but - more than that because you don't even need it. It's voluntary, not an obligation but more like a... Privilege. And because there's safety at the end, there's - Shit. I don't know, there's more to it for some reason. It sounds dumb. But. [ Okay right and now that that's all done it's time to go back to using his mouth for things that are way less embarrassing, leaning back towards her to continue what he was doing before. ]
[ Shhh, Max, don't think about things like that. He was fine. Technically for a while, he did have her, soooo...
But don't actually think about that either, okay. Like, at all. Okay? Everything's fine here. He's just going to hold her tight and no one's going to stop him walking out right now because the big part of the mission is done and the look on his face is just going to tell them the answer they'll get right now before they open their mouths.
Also it's okay, because his senses are all turned up to eleven right now, so he totally heard that. Double okay, because it doesn't make him angrier or anything. Not at all. ] They won't. Nobody's going to do anything you don't want them to.
But don't actually think about that either, okay. Like, at all. Okay? Everything's fine here. He's just going to hold her tight and no one's going to stop him walking out right now because the big part of the mission is done and the look on his face is just going to tell them the answer they'll get right now before they open their mouths.
Also it's okay, because his senses are all turned up to eleven right now, so he totally heard that. Double okay, because it doesn't make him angrier or anything. Not at all. ] They won't. Nobody's going to do anything you don't want them to.
[ Most of her faith is only in relation to him. She doesn't have a great deal of faith in anything else at all, though her patience is permanent. Just easier to apply to him, because everything with him is easier at least a little bit.
She stays rock steady against him as he comes, free hand sliding over his back as she takes it all in, slowly tapers off the movement of her hand before she steps away completely so that she can lower him down enough that he's standing on his own two feet, carefully and a hand steadying him before she lets his arms down completely and steps back towards him again. ] Good. [ Just one word of approval before she starts to uncuff his hands.
She still doesn't know what there is about him that makes it so satisfying for her to have gotten him to do things for her that he wouldn't do for other people, why it feels so good to have him at her will. But there's something warm and satisfied in her motions, in the way she leans in to press her lips to his once his hands are free, making no move to remove the blindfold yet though she's rubbing his wrists carefully, making sure circulation is all right. ]
She stays rock steady against him as he comes, free hand sliding over his back as she takes it all in, slowly tapers off the movement of her hand before she steps away completely so that she can lower him down enough that he's standing on his own two feet, carefully and a hand steadying him before she lets his arms down completely and steps back towards him again. ] Good. [ Just one word of approval before she starts to uncuff his hands.
She still doesn't know what there is about him that makes it so satisfying for her to have gotten him to do things for her that he wouldn't do for other people, why it feels so good to have him at her will. But there's something warm and satisfied in her motions, in the way she leans in to press her lips to his once his hands are free, making no move to remove the blindfold yet though she's rubbing his wrists carefully, making sure circulation is all right. ]
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